#That’s totally unrelated but like she’s pretty much the only one who changes styles

[sentient-mawce]

hoose.

Also, more is coming! It’s gonna have like 5 pages total I’ll post each when I finish them. Maybe I’ll figure out how to link the previous page also ummm whatever I’ll figure that out when I get to it. Also just imagine them in house’s office. I’m too lazy to draw a proper background.

[marismoments39]

"Better" this, "better" that, you better watch your tongue, pow, if you know what's best for you! Years of Namori's masterful character design, wasted. the compacity and beauty of the thin braids, reduced to shambles. Sakurako's opinion too, blown to smithereens by you. yes, you. an agent of chaos, going around spreading the propaganda that himawari's fat clunky braids are "better." what "better"?? anyways, I've obviously been mostly joking.. MOSTLY... but you gotta understand the newer is better! well, not even newer, because she's been like that for SO long. longer than I've known you, longer than you've known me, and longer than we've known yuruyuri! in fact, if you track the dates, she's had her hair like that for LONGER THAN HIMAWARI'S CANONICALLY BEEN ALIVE, that being, over thirteen years! and that's a hell of alot of time. and, I know what you'd probably been thinking, "Moon, just cuz it's been there a while doesn't mean it's good. my closet's had dust atop it for years, but that doesn't make it a better closet," and I know! just because she's had the thin braids for longer doesn't mean they're good... but they proof they're good. also, may I just denote that they're part of himawari's identity now? because, I don't know about you, but when I picture himawari's face, her braids and alice band are some of the first things that come to mind. they're iconic. they're just as much of a part of himawari as her love for sakurako, or her sunflower aesthetic. pow, no offense, but you and katie's doings are like shipping himawari and akari. sure, it may be entertaining, but come on. that's not himawari. that's a totally blatant disregard for her. and that's what this is about! Himawari! It's about her! anyways, let's actually get IN to character design, shall we? Himawari is a small girl! Sure, she's taller than sakurako, but she's pretty small! or, compact, dare I say! let's look at something here

this here is my least favourite himawari album art. can you tell why? I don't think it applies to everyone, but the posing here is sorta off! also, if you look, she has significantly larger braids than usual here!! anyways, it makes her design too topheavy! what do I mean? well, although I don't usually like to mention it, a big part of himawari's design was her boobs! and I say "was" because we've thankfully moved away from that nowadays, but do you see the problem here? big boobs + big braids = big problems!!! now, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend to be a character artist, nuh-uh-uh! but you may see one of my issues now? and that's that himawari's small, and there's not much surface area! not much space to add STUFF. when your design has just a few notable features, it's really difficult when they're intermixing like that!

(unrelated well sorta related but I just got a reblog)

(Yes!! I am implying that!!! no, I'm OUTRIGHT saying it!! katie, you've only watched season 1 (and one episode of season2,) and you haven't read the manga! himawari gets SO little screentime in s1!! and most her screentime is just boob jokes!! smh!!!)

anyways, namori actually gave himawari much bigger braids in s1, case in point:

compared to modern himawari, they're quite different. but namori's overall style has also changed over the years, so wahtever. amyways, himawari's alice band and hair vents(??) were also often overshadowed by her big braids back then! she had a really unbalanced design, and NAMORI KNEW THAT! you know who else does, SAKURAKO.

lookie here. a more modern himawari design, do you see what's changed? there's more attention at the BACK of her hair rather than the FRONT. it's tied properly! what does this mean? MOBILITY. himawari physically cannot do stuff when her braids are big. animators struggle, namori needs weird poses, and they get in the way of everything. oh ALSO ALSO HOLD ON I NEED TO GUSH OVER HER NEWEST DESIGN

LOOK at that oh my god LOOK at that!! they got her hair perfectly tied here, as in, the place before the braids is perfect! and her hair "vents" and alice band are placed as they should!! "moon what the heck are you talking about-" HER ALICE BAND IS ACTUALLY WHERE A NORMAL PERSON'S ONE WOULD BE OMG IT'S NOT JUST A RANDOM ACCESSORY IN HER HAIR!!! Himawari actually has alot of hair, an excess, one may say. but you never really realize! something I like about this hairstyle is how it showcases her personality.

she is kempt. she clearly has a bunch of hair, she likes it, but she neatened it, she tied it, she controlled it. it's all so cordial. she's a coward who'll just cut their hair to make it more managable, no. she's managing hard. it sorta feels representative of her actual personality. she's super respectful and cordial and proper, but she has fun! she gets mad at sakurako! she crushes, she gushes, she braids neat as can be. it's not out for the world to see, it's here for himawari to see.

also

you guys are so mean are you saying she's inadequate :( himawawri doesn't need more hair to prove to you guys she's amazing... smh...

uh

this is a callout post on my tumblr.com to @powwuten and @saturn-amanogawa btw

NEW OOMURO-KE TRAILER ASFHOIJEF

DUDE!!! RELEASE DATE! ALSO OMG THEY BROUGHT THE SONGS BACK THEY BROUGHT THE SONGS BACK OGMOGM AAAAAAAAAA IS THI SONE GONNA HAV ENA ALBUM?? ALSO HIKAMWAIR IOLOOK LOOK AT HIMAWARI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[stingywiththeirusername]

So uhm, here's a dream about Yandere Batfam I had. I'n gonna try to put this under readmore cause it is slightly long and I wanna try it.

Story starts under here.

Holy shit, I finally had a dream about Yandere Batfam from all tbe fucking headcanons and fics I've been reading and good god my heart is thundering. I slept or closed my eyes around 1:15 am and I woke up at 5:36 am.

So the dream starts with me in my house and I think my mom is telling me to go the my ninang's sari sari store (ninang is someone who was beside me (usually a close family friend) when I got baptized a second time as a kid (I think) and sari sari stores are small indepent stores usually a part of their own house) to get something, it was dark and raining so I grabbed an umbrella and took my phone to open the flashlight because for some reason it was getting way too dark. As I ventured out and nearing my ninang's store I noticed a vehicle passing by, I didn't care about it because vehicles pass by usually but when I turn my back on it all of a sudden I heard the car door open and the dream shift.

The next thing I noticed I was in a hospital, horror style, I was in those hospital gowns, sluggish as all hell with bandages wrapped around my head as I walked through the halls of the hospital. Everytime I pushed open a hospital double door dread kept piling up as I got closer and closer to where I think my room is, eventually I got sick of this ominous feeling so I hurried to my room only to stop when I noticed three men and a boy waiting by my hospital room, I turned around to try to run away but someone hits the back of my neck and I crumble to unconsciousness.

Then I gain like this spectator mode where I see Jason carrying me on his chest with my arms and legs wrapped around his waist while the Batfam minus Bruce, Babs, Steph, and Duke trailed after him. A nurse passed by and asked politely why I was being carried and Dick, because it could only be Dick, said that my 'father' was going to clear me out and she agreed letting them leave and guiding them to the exit.

I was placed in a car but Dick was driving and Jason still clung on to me in the passenger seat, Damian got annoyed and told Jason to pass over my body to them because it was 'much wider and less cramped', they kept bickering before Jason eventually relented and handed me over and Damian placed me next to the car door just to do something before I viciously gained consciousness and slammed my entire being on the car door to open it (with a bit of lucid dreaming) the car door snapped open and I tumbled out of a moving vehicle and on to the road. I'm pretty sure the Batfam members were screaming my name but I limped towards a car and begged them to let me in and drive the fuck away.

Then the dream changed before any of the Batfam members could grab me, this time I was back at the beginning of the hospital but with my memories of the 'future'. So instead of going one linear path to my room, I began exploring the hospital to find weapons or maybe exit out of. I stumbled across a room where my files were and I checked around the closet to see what else was there, then two girls (unrelated to the Batfam) sneaked in and were surprised by my appearance, I bullshitted my way and told them that I was looking for secrets and they suspiciously stared at me and shrugged. Uh, for some reason my brain conjured them as lesbians (they were totally dating) and they came in this room because they heard it was...... Adventurous....

Listen, I don't fucking know but it must have been the uh, the fanfic and whatnot I've been reading here on Tumblr... Anyway!

Upon hearing that I instantly wanted to leave and the couple began exploring, as I left the room I spotted the owner who spotted me and demanded to know why I wasn't in my room, I floundered because wth do you SAY to a person who caught you in this weird scenario??? But then she panics and tells me I need to go back to my room because someone was looking for me and I knew who she was referring to.

What I did NOT know was that she was telling me as Pack Omega (yeah I blame this on myself given my recent likes) I needed to retuen back to Bruce Fucking Wayne or else something might happen. Now, while I am 18 and above, BRUCE WAYNE IS IN HIS LATE 30'S RIGHT? SO BRAIN WTF???

I stubbornly denied and was about to, I dunno, escape from the window(?) when someone knocked patiently on the door. I froze, didn't wanna move, when all of a sudden Dick's eerily calm voice told me to step out of the room and that we should all go home. The hairs on dream me's body fucking stood on its end, goosebumps galore, and I was frozen because fuck, that was creepy as all hell!!!

But then a weird ass blessing in disguise happened... So... The owner found the lesbian couple snooping around her... Hidden closet... So uh... Lewd things... Happened...

I was burning with shame, both in dream and when I woke up to review my dream, burning with shame. I think Dick and I were in a standstill about this which I eventually slipped out a phone (from where I got I have no fucking idea) and chatted my friends to PLEASE come and get me because I seemed to have been claimed by some fucking alpha or a pack that I didn't consent to. My friends, both in and out of the dream, are fucking amazing people because they actually came to the hospital and quickly located where I was based on the rumors how the Waynes were in their hospital.

When they called out my name I instantly swung the door open with all my might to crash against Dick and run towards them at full speed, nearly being grabbed in the process. When I eventually caught to my friends they hugged me and made sure to surround me, bless them really. The same nurse from before asked what was going on and Bruce McFucking Wayne stepped up which caused me to have a mini panic attack and explained the situation but I'm pretty sure it was twisted in his behalf, but then one of my friends called bullshit on me returning with them as being 'pack omega' and provided clues of our chat about how I didn't consent or some shit but I guess it got deleted by either Tim or Babs including me begging them to take me home. Well it was slightly suspicious enough and with my skittish attitude, the nurse gave me to my friends and she explained the process to a seething Batfam.

I love my friends but holy fuck they might die in that instance, when we came home I was with my friends and my family was nowhere near in sight, someone called from the door and I went up to find who it is not knowing any better. When I opened it, well, I see Cass there and I instantly tried to close the door and lock it, she kept patiently knocking on the door and I ran back to my friends to tell them what happened but they were gone and I was all alone in my house with Cass knocking on my door insistently but patiently and it was somehow getting dark in my house.

And I realized... Was I really alone in my house?

I snapped awake at that moment, causing my mom to be surprised and asking what I dreamt... How the HELL do I tell her I dreamt of Yandere Batfam with a side dish of lesbians??????? Exactly, nothing. So I ended up telling her I dreamt of being stuck in a hospital and she bought it.

So here's my dream about Yandere Batfam, of course some snippets of my dream were cut off, some details I just remembered now didn't make it, and I had to find a way to piece it together so it would flow well but I've been writing my dreams for a while now so I'm used to having to decipher the nonsense that is my dream. The only reason I'm sharing this dream is because this is the first dream I had of the Yandere Batfam and I don't know if I wanna continue because my heart is still racing as I type this...

Anyway, thanks for reading this random post lmao. Yandere Batfam got me waking up at an unholy time I would never willingly wake up for.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 03

(Masterpost)(Previous Episode) 

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

 Wei Wuxian demonstrates the purple nurple technique of the Jiang Clan

Should’ve Used Trivago

The Jiang Clan’s reservation got cancelled while they were on the road, so they are going to wander around this small inn for hours being fussed about it, rather than trying another inn. Yes they say the other inns are all full but…so is this one, now. 

The Jin Clan sends an advance party to fancy up the inn for them.

Fuckboi Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian decides to use his considerable powers of prettiness to get them a room.  He drops some poetry on Mianmian and brazenly flirts with her before shifting to properly introducing himself and asking for a room. 

This actually works.

...until her boss shows up.

(Much much more after the cut!)

Worst Person // Best Jin

Jin ZIxuan is an ass and a snob. 

I guess we have to give him credit for having a beautiful sidekick and never hitting on her, given that his dad is a rapist and one of his half-brothers is (reputedly) a sex pest and the other half brother is (definitely) an incest perp. But I feel like it doesn’t take much to be the best Jin of his or his father’s generation.

The Jin folks are snobs and talk about how great their fancy and expensive stuff is. It’s an interesting contrast with true connoisseur Nie Huaisang, who loves everything that is fine and beautiful and can quote stacks of poetry off the top of his head, but is not even a little bit of a snob. 

This Tea Smells Like Farts

Ok, let’s talk about generation names in the Jin clan. Ru is the name for Jin Ling’s generation, hence his courtesy name Rulan. The name for the current generation is apparently Zi (子), because both Zixuan and his jerk cousin Zixun have that as their name.  Sect Leader Jin Guangshan would seem to be using the generation name Guang, but then names his son Jin Guangyao so…the whole system breaks down. 

Anyway, my point here is that even considering generation names, if I had a baby and named it Zixuan, and my sister-in-law promptly had a baby and named it Zixun, I would slap her. 

Find you a lover who does not make you feel like this 

Jin Zixuan is mildly intrigued by his betrothed, and expresses it by being rude to her in front of Wei Wuxian, starting a chain of events that will culminate with Wen Ning’s fist going all the way through Jin Zixuan’s chest.

Side Note: Look at these young Jiang Brothers and their casual shoulder hugs. Sigh.

Wei Wuxian’s Combat PlayBook

When Wei Wuxian wants to throw down, he starts with smack talk, moves along to boundary crossing, then to direct threats, and then brings out a weapon if he hasn’t won already. 

Here he starts shit with Jin Zixuan by complaining at him for taking up too much space and having too many sycophants.  Then he goes for the unwelcome shoulder touch. 

Having been sufficiently provocative to get someone to draw a sword and threaten him with physical violence, he shifts to formal verbal sparring. 

This gets the other guy to back down, because even at this age no-one actually wants to tangle with Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian gets to claim the moral advantage, although he still doesn’t get to keep his hotel room. 

Actually Not A Fan of My Sister’s Betrothal

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli have the first of many, many moments of heterosexual ineptitude together. Wei Wuxian quickly rescues them.

Hi, I’m Young Master Cockblock.

Neither of the boys understands what Yanli sees in Zixuan and neither do I, at this juncture. He does improve later after multiple beatings from Wei Wuxian.

This Is The Day Your Life Will Surely Change

Yanli’s encounter in the Inn is the first step toward the inexorable end of the three of them as a unit, although it’s still a long ways off. They are all growing up and she and Wei Wuxian are both going to fall in love at summer camp, like in a 1980s teen movie but without the virginity betting (presumably). 

Meanwhile poor Jiang Cheng is going to be swept along just trying to keep up with events, which becomes the story of his life for the next two decades.

Welcome to Transylvania

We meet Wen Ruohan. He is boring and he sucks. Also I’m summarizing the Transylvania parts out of order because they break up the rhythm of the story. And are boring and suck.

We meet Xue Yang. He seems nice.

Wen Ruohan’s living room is like a shitty nightclub where everyone is too drunk to dance except Xue Yang.

Dee Jay: Undead undead undead, Bela Lugosi’s dead

[OP can’t get a video to embed in this post with looping enabled, so the alternate version of this joke has its own post right here. That will teach OP to get fancy.]

Anyhoo

We meet Wen Qing. She is the bestest most wonderful girl in the world but this isn’t actually when we find that out. 

Right now we just find out that she is absurdly pretty, that she loves her brother deeply, and that she is helping Wen Ruohan with his “take over the world by murdering cultivators” project. OKAY, PROBLEMATIC, BUT SHE IS THE BESTEST GIRL OKAY? 

Gatekeeping

The Jiang Clan don’t get another inn but they do manage to change into immaculate white robes while they’re out on the street, so - nice work, Jiang Clan. Be free!

They get stuck outside the gate because they don’t know that the secret to getting into Cloud Recesses is to set the gate guard on fire. 

Walking Thirst Trap Hanguang-Jun

Lan Wangji shows up and everyone except Yanli, who is already in love with Sir Golden Pants, makes thirst faces at him. Including Jiang Cheng tho he will never admit it. One girl in the background is actually biting her knuckle. 

Note: Lan Wangji knows exactly how fine he is. Look at his fucking hairstyle. 

He is sixteen years old. The only person in the entire cultivation world with fancier hair is Nie Mingjue, and that’s because he indulges his dìdi’s braiding hobby. 

Wei Wuxian loudly stage whispers that LWJ is their key to getting in and LWJ is is like, not fucking likely, person I didn’t glance at yet. 

But then Wei Wuxian says a smart cultivator thing about the puppet dude, and Lan Wangji turns around and has the first of many long mutual staring sessions with this boy he totally isn’t going to like at all.

Jiang Cheng has a bad feeling about the future: a 2-frame gif

Unrelated gardening note: the red-crack puppet is more commonly grown in Gusu and Dafan, while the black-line puppet is native to Yiling

I Must Arrange a Date with this Uninteresting Boy

The rest of the evening is a series of tests that Lan Wangji puts Wei Wuxian through. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know this and Lan Wangji probably doesn’t exactly know it either. 

First he sends WWX back to town to get the invitation. Yes, go get it. Not your entourage; YOU, talky person who thinks he can manipulate me and is smart and looks...intriguing. Go find it and come back. 

When Wei Wuxian complains, Lan Wangji silences him, which is literally the most boss move he could have used on smooth talking Wei Wuxian. 

You tried, Fuckboi.

Would you like to try some more because I think I would like you to try some more

Jiang Cheng is the Better Baby Brother

Sorry, he just is. Wei Wuxian is all about being taken care of and adoring Yanli without actually doing much for her. Jiang Cheng is the one who thinks about her feelings and giving her what she needs, even to the point of arranging that wedding rehearsal dinner so she can be with her favorite brother again -- the favorite who isn’t him, much as she also loves him. 

Date Test 1: Can You Get In.

Once Wei Wuxian is definitely gone, Lan Wangji shows up again and collects the entire retinue, guaranteeing that Wei Wuxian will be stranded outside the gate when he gets back.  LWJ doesn’t wait by the gate; he goes and waits up on the roof instead of going to bed or whatever else he’s supposed to be doing. Because he already knows the route Wei Wuxian will be taking. 

Wei Wuxian passes the “get in through the wards” test with no problem besides a minor headache and bent fingers. 

Is that Xiao Zhan’s hand or did they use a double-jointed hand model?

Date Test 2: Fight Me (Lan Wangji’s Combat Playbook)

As soon as Wei Wuxian shows up on the roof, Lan Wangji picks a fight with him. 

LWJ fights all the time; he’s perfectly comfortable when he’s fighting and it’s a good venue for him to express himself. His style is graceful and aggressive. 

Attack attack attack strike a pose, vogue, you know it.  

He starts by going all in on swordplay, but that doesn’t gain him the advantage; Wei Wuxian fends him off without ever drawing his sword. Which is probably the hottest thing that has ever happened to Lan Wangji in his young life.

Do you like me better when I’m horizontal? 

Next Lan Wangji deploys the pettiness by breaking WWX’s wine. Then when Wei Wuxian starts insulting him he upgrades to next level pettiness by dropping another silence spell, this time with the added bonus of preventing WWX from drinking. 

Wei Wuxian’s Combat Playbook, Redux

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is running his own fight routine, starting with a charm attack, which doesn’t work at all. 

Are you admiring the moon? 

He keeps trying to de-escalate for the first phase of their fight, until they reach a pause and he reflects that Lan Wangji has real skills. As soon as he makes that determination he goes on the offensive - with words. 

He very formally says he’s too busy to continue fighting, and turns away, which is a pretty solid roast when you say it to someone who’s been trying really hard to kick your ass. Then he continues defending easily until Lan Wangji uses the wine against him. 

At this point the gloves come off, with Lan Wangji lecturing Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian making ad hominem attacks, Lan Wangji forcibly shutting him up... 

...and then throwing him on the floor in front of Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen. 

Sincere Grief for the Death of our Colleague

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen feel really bad for their disciple who has been horribly turned into an undead creature. Ha ha j/k

Date Test 3: Face the Authorities

Lan Wangji gets to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment.  This probably won’t awaken anything in him. 

Surprise surprise, Wei Wuxian actually passes the Authority test with flying colors. Lan Qiren doesn’t like him, but listens respectfully to his thoughts about the undead cultivator. And Lan Xichen clearly does like him.

When Wei Wuxian learns that Lan Wangji was nice to his sister, his entire demeanor changes, to such an enormous degree that Lan Wangji starts to run away.

He’s not going to let this boy (who has passed all the tests oh no he passed all the tests) make out with him in front of his family like he is obviously planning. 

But once again, Wei Wuxian’s cultivation knowledge captures Lan Wangji’s attention and breaks through his reserve. 

This Hardy Boys moment is the beginning of their cultivation partnership.

Lan Wangji is brave but is extremely constrained: by the authorities in his life and by his own rigid reserve. Wei Wuxian is brave and is also free. His companionship gives Lan Wangji an opportunity to engage with a much broader range of the things that interest him than he’s ever had before. 

After Wei Wuxian has been sent to bed, Lan Wangji stands outside and -- just as WWX had suggested at the beginning of their date/fight -- admires the moon, with an expression that’s anything but upset. 

Sure, sex is cool (probably), but have you ever analyzed a walking corpse with a beautiful boy in the moonlight?

If you’ve got your true honey Life can be pretty funny If you've got money, money to burn Rooty toot toot for the moon It's the biggest star I've ever seen

The Fine-as-Hell Brothers

Alone together, Lans Xichen and Wangji talk over the various things on their minds. 

Xichen: What the fuck is up with you? ...Rooftop fights and dropping spells on boys?

Wangji: You and uncle were ignoring me so I was making my own fun

Xichen: Yeah, we are dealing with this zombie situation; shit’s going to hit the fan

Wangji: what are you going to do about it?

Xichen: fuck-all

Wangji: Well, you can rely on me

Xichen: I totally do. So how about you get to know this Wei kid, he seems like a fun ride.

Wangji: *death glare*

Xichen: You know, since Dad died you’ve become even more uptight. I wonder if I’ve been too strict with you?

Wangji: Um, you think? 3000 fucking rules, dude. Fortunately I’m not going to go off the rails and fall in love with my polar opposite and cause havoc in the cultivation world or anything like that.

Xichen: good, me neither

Outtro

Writing prompt: Lan Xichen’s secret nightly letter to his Mom’s memory or spirit (your choice), in which he confides in her about his day. May be written in flute solo form. 

(As always if you use this prompt feel free to post a link to your fic in comments!)

Soundtrack: 1. This Is The Day by The The  2.  Bela Lugosi’s Dead by Bauhaus 3. Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon, Greg Brown version 4. Madonna, Vogue

Bonus: FineAsHell-Jun

Episode 04 Restless Rewatch coming soon!

[galadrieljones]

The Walking Dead: Episode 4.12, “Still” Rewatch

So I rewatched “Still” in honor of the Stilliversary tonight. My thoughts are not related much to Team Delusional stuff, more so just thoughts and idle analysis, but I had fun and definitely did not cry.

Here we go!

Beth is already feeling it, right away, after the trunk scene, ie: what he must think of her. She’s just another “dead girl” who needs to be protected. It is both insulting and embarrassing at the same time.

Daryl misses that squirrel and breaks an arrow! Dammit, Daryl. This is just another trial, but it’s interesting in how we see Daryl in like rote provider mode, and yet he makes a mistake.

The suck-ass camp begins with some Garden of Eden imagery: While Daryl skins and cooks the snake, Beth is admiring the beauty of a ladybug crawling on a leaf. The music is actually full of wonder. Beth sees the beauty in the natural world while Daryl sees it only for what he can use. It is an essential masculine vs. feminine moment, in terms of their individual themes, and what propels them and their actions. Their masculine and feminine energies will be subverted later though, and well-complicated, because the writing is good.

Beth brings up Hershel’s death early: “He’s not exactly around anymore so...” She wants to have a drink, maybe to rebel against her father, maybe to honor his memory, maybe to seal her own fate. It is a complicated choice for Beth. It’s not just some “dumb college bitch” moment. She knows this, but how is she supposed to communicate it to Daryl?

Daryl is like an animal eating that snake while Beth tries to talk to him. Literally, out of body. I imagine being her and just like, Ugh. Gross, dude. Then, when she leaves, Beth totally expects him to come after her. When she doesn’t see him right away, she mutters, “Jerk.” She called him a jerk in season 3, too, after he takes off with Merle. I think Beth is used to being treated nicely by boys. Ofc, Daryl, while he may not be an overt gentleman in his scarfing of that disgusting snake, was there watching her the whole time. 

“You wanna spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes? Screw that. We might as well do something.”

I sort of missed this before, the mention of “the rest of our lives.” It is a small acknowledgement that they are now “stuck together.” Ofc, Beth’s idea is to “make the most of it,” to go out into and DO something! Embrace the future! Daryl sees only the here, the now, and the past. He would prefer to stay still.

Unrelated but: God, Daryl is peak hot in this episode. 

Anyway, so, the state of Pine Vista, and what happened there. Jfc. It’s very ugly and very sad. The Dogtrot seems a reference to a dogtrot house, which is an old Appalachian style home. Basically like two shacks connected via a breezeway. I see some sort of backcountry types having moved in here and tortured the rich folk. There is evidence that “fun” was had. “Rich bitch,” etc. Maybe it’s the same psychopaths who tormented the OG Terminus crew, ultimately turning them into crazy cannibals.

Beth finds the Washington D.C. spoon. Why?? It’s such an odd, pointed shot, with a slow zoom. Is that where we’ll find her? Does anybody else know anything about this?? Anyway maybe this is a TD post lol.

Beth finds that bottle of wine and it’s a shame she has to break it! I remember feeling so bad about that the first time I watched this episode. Like NO BETH YOUR BOOZE!! She uses it to stab the shit out of that walker though, and to defend herself. She’s kind of pissed at Daryl for not helping her, again used to only the kindest of attention from boys. But Daryl isn’t like other boys (lol). He was there the whole time, once again, but he let it play out, because he knew she could do it. I like that her first (almost) drink here sort of has to become a weapon instead. Nothing is ever easy! And sometimes, the environment IS best observed, not in terms of its beauty or promise, but in terms of how its use can best be served to survive.

Tempus Fugit - Time flies! Oh, yes. Yes it does lol.

Daryl and Beth both need to escape their old selves here. Beth with her pretty cloths and Daryl stealing the cash and the jewels. They need to shake that shit off. Burn it all down, if you will. I think this episode we mostly associate with Daryl changing and having his epiphany, but Beth changes, too. She is just quieter at it.

It is 3 o’clock! The grandfather clock is this interesting motif that puts pressure on the situation literally while also bringing the symbolic pressure of time passing, running out, etc. It makes us feel detached from reality, like this is a purgatory episode. I like when The Walking Dead does this, like when they take us to a new place in which we become critically aware that this thing we’re watching is fiction, and by the rules of fiction, anything (ANYTHING) can happen.

“I know you think this is stupid, and it probably is, but I don’t care.” She just is who she is. She doesn’t give a shit what he thinks. I think that attracts Daryl to her in this moment and emboldens him. I think Daryl actually really cares what other people think of him, that he is keenly self-aware in this way. We see this fear manifest as Merle in Chupacabra, ie: that the rest of the group thinks he’s a “freak,” a piece of “redneck trash,” and that they’re all “laughing behind [his] back.” Meanwhile, Beth is just like, “You probably think I’m just some dumb bitch. But guess what, Daryl? I DON’T CARE.”

Beth sitting at that bar trying to clean out glasses: “Who needs a glass?” She clutches the bottle longingly and then cries. I would argue she is thinking of Hershel and the line of questioning that arises in this moment. Should she do this? Is she betraying him? This moment also contradicts what she tells Daryl in 4.1. “I don’t cry anymore Daryl.” This is the moment that breaks him.

Beth keeps trying to make him feel normal, while they’re walking to the shine shack. She thinks he used to be a motorcycle mechanic. But Daryl’s normal is not hers, and he doesn’t really do small talk. In these little moments, we see him being who he is. Daryl is really good at being who he is when who he is revolves around passivity and silence.

They go from country club to moonshine shack. What we see is how a class divide might differ in longevity. A country club full of walkers, made out of humans who turned against each other, every bottle dry in the house vs. an empty shine shack, no death in sight, absolutely full of booze. When societal protections collapse around us, it is the ruthless and the bereft who will know how best to survive. It’s like Beth sad about Daryl, being “made for this world.” 

They are trapped! Tropes. So many romantic tropes! Lol at people who would like to ignore that any of this happened or that Bethyl was never canon.

This: 

Anyway, I think Daryl is actually pretty mean to Beth toward the end here, out on the porch, like the way he treats her, kind of tugs her around physically. He doesn’t hurt her, but he is not gentle. This puts things into harsh perspective for Beth, as I do think that, while he is not right in how he handles her here, he is right in some ways about who she is. She is not naive but she is used to protection and safety and relying on others, the same way he is used to the opposite of those things. Both of them need to learn how to exist from the other side. 

Beth also sees what’s going on, however. I think she also might be used to this sort of quasi-violent, performative, drunken behavior. Her dad was a drunk. I think it’s interesting that so much of this episode hinges on alcohol in Hershel’s wake. I always thought this might be one reason Beth is drawn to and accepting of Daryl. We only really see Hershel while sober (I mean, mostly). We never saw him in his deep element of alcoholism, but Beth did. She is not innocent to vices or men spinning out of control. It’s why Beth responds to Daryl’s whole insane story about the tweaker and Merle with, “You miss him, don’t you?” She doesn’t care that Merle was a degenerate drug addict. He was Daryl’s brother who died. She has loved and lost an addict, too.

Before, Daryl was just “drifting.” In this episode, Beth gives him a quest. I think that’s very important. She also gives him something to look forward to:

“You got away from it.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me of it sometimes.”

The hint at their future: “You gotta keep on reminding me,” he says, counting on them staying together. Beth is so kind to him here, too, even doting as she talks about him being the “last man standing.” I can’t imagine a girl has ever treated Daryl like this. I think she scares the living shit out of him.

Daryl suggests they go back into the shine shack, but Beth says they should burn the place down instead. Again, stillness vs. action. See their complimentary traits: Daryl is passive. He needs someone to tell him this is okay. Beth is active. She does what she wants. It is uniquely antithetical to their gender roles and subverts the power dynamic we might otherwise expect from a relationship like this: Daryl is older and a man. Ofc he should be the more aggressive, assertive one. The actor. But he’s not. It’s Beth who makes their choices in this episode. Daryl follows her and protects her along the way. 

The ending is so happy. Oh my god. Anyway.

Thank you for humoring me. Happy Stilliversary!! 😭🥺❤️

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #133: Scathach (Assassin)

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re once again make Cu Chulainn’s teacher and professional old ha- I mean badass, Scathach! This time she’s an assassin, turning heads at the beach before turning them just a little bit more to snap their neck.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: If love’s a crime, she’s guilty! (She’s also guilty of arson, but she swears it’s unrelated.)

Race and Background

Like the other summer servants, we’re not changing your race and background that much. You’re still a Half Elf, giving you +1 to Dexterity and Intelligence, as well as +2 to Charisma. You also get Darkvision, Fey Ancestry that makes you harder to charm and impossible to put to sleep, and Skill Versatility in two skills- We’ll get more of your beachy stuff later, so for now grab Athletics and Religion.

Like last time you’re still a Sage, giving you proficiency with Arcana and History.

Ability Scores

Scathach’s one of those people who’s good at everything, so we’ve got to turn to point buy for this one. Set your Charisma to 14 to set off a beach panic when you show up. Your Dexterity and Intelligence are both 13- Surviving fights in a bikini requires the former, but you’re also good at carving runes too. Your Wisdom and Strength are 12: Strength is necessary for a spear, but you’ve got daggers to tide you over for a bit. That being said you’re still pretty smart, even though it’s summer vacation. Finally, your Constitution is 10. We just need everything, and something had to fall in last place.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: First level fighters get a fighting style, and Thrown Weapon Fighting makes using thrown (or kicked) weapons less painful for you, but more painful for everyone else. You also get a Second Wind once per short rest for a bit of healing.

Finally, you’re proficient in Strength and Constitution Saves, as well as Acrobatics and Intimidation. Your star pupil still has physical and mental scars from your teaching style.

2. Wizard 1: The fighter levels makes your weapons better, but you still need an AC that isn’t bad, and that’s what we’re here for. First level wizards get first level Spells that they can cast and prepare with their Intelligence, as well as an Arcane Recovery, letting you recharge spell slots on a short rest with a total level equal to half your wizard level rounded up.

For cantrips, you get Sword Burst to summon multiple Gae Bolgs, and True Strike to be slightly better with just one. You get more spells than this, but your important ones are Mage Armor, to make your AC less bad, and Charm Person for more beach panic.

3. Wizard 2: Your second level of wizard makes you a Bladesinger once more, giving you performance proficiency, as well as a Bladesong. A number of times equal to your proficiency bonus per long rest, you can start a bladesong that lasts a minute. While active, you can add your intelligence modifier to your AC and Concentration saves, get 10′ extra walking speed, and have advantage on dexterity checks. That means your AC, with bladesong and mage armor, is now 16. Not bad for a bikini.

4. Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. Enhance Ability will help make up for how MAD this build is, and Magic Weapon will make your Gae Bolg a little more special.

5. Fighter 2: Back in fighter now, this level gives you an Action Surge, letting you take a second action in a single turn once per short rest. Multitasking is useful.

6. Fighter 3: Third level fighters get a martial archetype, and the Rune Knight will give you plenty of rune magic that won’t bother with spell slots. You become a Rune Carver, letting you learn two runes at this level and apply them to weapons, armor, or other objects at the end of a long rest. These runes grant benefits to whoever wields them, and they last until your next long rest. 

Right now you get the Stone rune, enhancing your darkvision and giving you advantage on insight checks. Also, once per short rest you can invoke the rune, forcing a wisdom save on a creature nearby. If they fail, they’re charmed for up to a minute, becoming incapacitated and having 0 movement. It’s not quite stunned, but you have effectively removed someone from the game until they succeed on their save.

You also get the Cloud rune, giving you advantage on Sleight of Hand and Deception checks, to make this assassin build more... assassiny. You can also invoke this rune once per short rest to redirect an attack within 30′ of you.

Finally, you gain Giant Might, spending a bonus action to transform yourself for a minute a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus. You become Large, have advantage on strength checks and saves, and deal an extra 1d6 damage once per turn.

7. Fighter 4: When you finally get your first Ability Score Improvement, spend it on some more Strength for better stabbing.

8. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action, giving you plenty of opportunity to test out that new strength. They say experience is the best teach. Well, second best.

9. Rogue 1: Yes, yes, it’s another 3-class build. As a rogue you get Persuasion proficiency, as well as Thieves’ Cant, a language. You also get a Sneak Attack, extra damage you can add to an attack with a ranged or finesse weapon once per turn. Thrown weapons are ranged, but if your DM doesn’t subscribe to the Red Hare School of Archery you can always just use a dagger. Remember, you don’t have to use dexterity for the attack, just make it with a ranged or finesse weapon.

Finally, you get Expertise in Acrobatics and Persuasion, making you a true gem of the beach, and also making scorpion kicking spears into people slightly less of an unrealistic fighting style.

10. Rogue 2: Second level rogues get a Cunning Action, letting you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action. Between this and your action surge, you can get a lot done in a turn.

11. Rogue 3: At third level, you become a Swashbuckler. Your Fancy Footwork makes it so creatures you attack can’t make opportunity attacks against you for the rest of the turn. Also, your Rakish Audacity adds your charisma to your initiative, and you can make sneak attacks against creatures if no other creatures are within 5′ of you or it, and you are in melee range.

12. Rogue 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Intelligence for a stronger bladesong and spells.

13. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues can use their reaction to make an Uncanny Dodge when attacked, halving the damage you take. If you’re the only one in a campaign wearing a bikini, you’ll probably need that.

14. Rogue 6: Use your second round of Expertise to enhance your Arcana and History. Even in the middle of summer you’re not a slacker.

15. Rogue 7: Once again Evasion rears its head, meaning your failed dex saves now deal as much damage as someone else’s successes, and your successes do no damage at all. Again- bikinis won’t stop a fireball, it’s better to just not get hit at all.

16. Rogue 8: Use this ASI for more Strength again, giving you a more powerful Gae Bolg.

17. Rogue 9: Your final level of rogue gives you Panache, an action to make a persuasion check against a creature’s insight. If you succeed, one of two things happen: hostile creatures have disadvantage on attacks against people other than you, lasting up to a minute, until another ally jumps into the fray against them, or you two are separated. Nonhostiles become charmed for a minute or until your team does anything harmful to it. Nothing quite like sowing a bit of beach chaos!

18. Fighter 6: Finishing things off in fighter gives you another ASI, which we’re putting into Constitution for some more HP and and stronger runes.

19. Fighter 7: Your penultimate level grants you a Runic Shield, using your reaction to force a re-roll on an attack. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus. You also learn how to carve a Storm Rune, giving you advantage on Arcana checks, and you can’t be surprised. As a bonus action, you can invoke the rune to enter a propehetic state. While in that state you can use your reaction to grant advantage or disadvantage on attack rolls, saves, or checks. Like all the others, you can do this once per short rest.

20. Fighter 8: Your final level gives you another ASI, and another boost to your Constitution. Again, not the flashiest way to end a build, but it’s always useful.

Pros:

Your runes give you a leg up on your skill checks, and even more in character, you can give those runes to others, effectively becoming their teacher.

Your swashbuckler skills and Cloud rune combine to make you effective at shutting down enemies, letting you affect the flow of battle as you see fit.

Sneak attacks are good, especially when you have multiple attacks to fish for them with. You can deal a pretty good amount of damage each turn if you want to.

Cons:

Without your bladesinging or magic, your AC is pretty bad. Turns out bikinis aren’t always the most practical outfit for adventuring.

The most in-character weapon you’ve got is a spear, and that only just barely works within the rules. If you’re willing to swallow your pride and just use daggers this won’t be an issue, but if you were okay not playing Scathach in your DND game you wouldn’t have read all this crap, would you?

This build is SUPER MAD. If you really wanted this build to get off the ground at all, it’d be best to save it for an incredibly unlikely set of die rolled stats.

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

Hi guys!! So, this is unrelated to any of my fics, just letting y’all know. 

However, I was contacted by another fic writer who asked if I take commissions, since they like my art. While yes, I have taken some commissions in the past, it has only ever been for my realistic art. I am not confident enough in my cartoon/anime style to charge money for it, especially since my time is kind of limited these days. 

However, I have been wanting to practice drawing different body positions, to get better at it. I also found a website that allows you to pose figures in whatever way you want, which is very helpful as a reference. Plus, when reading the fic (called Silver Lights to Make Things Right, by  AstraLowelle) the person asked me to draw from, I got a pretty clear idea in my head for what I wanted it to look like, if I did it. The idea was basically Mondo, Taka, and Celeste sitting on a bed, with Celeste hypnotizing Taka to help him sleep. 

(I will add a read more here, if anyone is interested in my opinions of this piece, or if you want to see the line-art and non-filtered version of the drawing)

Now, with this drawing, there are some problems I have with it. The background... oof, it was a challenge. I have a big problem with perspective and things like that, especially without references, so the bed was really hard, since I had no reference. I think Mondo’s leg is hanging off it improperly, but I drew the three before drawing the bed, so I had to live with it, ha. Also, there was supposed to be a night stand with a lamp on it behind them, but my brain imploded when I tried to draw it, so I left it out. 

As for the characters... I will say that I’m really happy with how Mondo turned out! I’ve never drawn muscles before, but they don’t look super bad, I hope. I like his face and the hair, though. For anyone who reads TPWP, this is Mondo’s hair whenever he and Taka are alone at night, FYI. Top part up in a ponytail, lower part loose and wavy/curly.

Now, as for Celeste and Taka... aha. I’m less happy with them, but I am okay enough with them. I’m honestly proud of Celeste’s hair, though, ‘cause those pigtails were brutal, oof. Taka and Celeste’s faces are a bit meh to me, though. I’ve always been bad with side profile, and Taka’s face just bugs me a bit. I tried to make it less square, since I keep doing that with his drawings even though he has a narrow face canonically, but I think I made it TOO narrow. -.- C’est la vie. If I keep drawing him, maybe one day I’ll get it right, lol. The hands are all bad, though, rip. I did my best with Celeste’s, since she is the focal point, ha. 

For the clothes, I figured that since the fic was about trying to get Taka to sleep, he prolly wouldn’t be in his uniform and would instead be in some sleep wear. I originally had him wear some shorts instead of sweat pants, but I changed it because a) I figured he’d rather not be dressed “improperly” in front of a girl and b) muscles are hard to draw :-( He’s also totally the type to wear socks to bed, the nerd that he is <3 For Mondo, I figured it would make sense for him to be wearing his usual clothes, just without his duster. And he IS��wearing his usual loose black pants, I just had problems drawing the folds and gave up, oof. Also, I had Celeste wear her usual uniform, since in the fic it is said she’d just there to help, so I figured it made sense to have her dressed like normal. I had no idea how it would look from partially the side, partially behind, though, so I just made it mostly black and hoped for the best.

Overall, I’m pleased with how this turned out! There are the issues I mentioned, but overall, I think it looks nice, especially since this is only my 4th anime style drawing. I don’t know too much about this style, so I’m just playing by ear with this all. I have been drawing since I was 16, so about... uh... 7? years now, but like I’ve said, I mostly would do realistic art and things like that. I’ve seen tips and tricks for cartoon style artists over the years, though, so I’ve been trying my best to recall all that advice while drawing, to mixed results. The posing website is super helpful, though, my god. I would never have been able to do this without it. 

Anyway! Here is the line art and the drawing without the filters, for those curious: 

Also, here’s the original sketch, if anyone is curious about that: 

You can tell I changed the faces around a lot, Mondo’s especially, ha. 

I also posted this to Imgur, so if  AstraLowelle wants to use it in their fic, they may. :-) You can find the imgur link to all three here, and the direct link to the ‘official’ drawing here. The one with filters is more cleaned up than the one without, just letting y’all know, since I only noticed the small errors after adding the filters. 

Also, here’s the screenshot I took from the poser website that I referenced for the poses: 

I did my best, ha. 

[coldshrugs]

thank you for this blessed template, @possumsunshine. this was so fun and cute, i couldn't resist after seeing it on my dash 💗

pulled a couple of answers from oc asks i've done recently because oof this got long.

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: alma greene

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Love interest: mason

Best friend: felix but also nate

Main skill: science/tech

Secondary skill: people/psychology

Main personality trait: tied for impulsive and sarcastic

Secondary personality trait: stubborn

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: she’s not a detective, but science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: very close, even with absences, but waning

Relationship with Bobby: college friend, currently hates him

Verda or Tina?: both

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy’s fate?: at large, babyyy

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: alma eloise greene

Nickname: sweetheart/space girl by mason; sweetie by rebecca

Birthday: june 12th

Age: 29

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual (demiromantic??)

Hair color: dark brown

Eye color: dark brown, nearly black

Height: 5’1”

Piercings: ears, former nostril piercings

Tattoos: a small snail on her right arm, super cartoony spaceship and tractor beam over the words “i want to believe” on the back of her left calf

Clothing Style: “modern” i guess, according to the game. tbh i usually describe it as “too old to be an e-girl but too cute to care.” bleached denim, dark plaid, graphic crop tops, black vans or converse, thigh-high tights, etc etc

Apartment Style: cozy. did she find it on the side of the road or goodwill or an estate sale? if not, it’s probably not in her apartment.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/tech

Second Skill: people/psychology

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: alma is wayhaven’s only forensic analyst because i refuse to let my black oc be a cop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in-game, she’s 100% there for her scientific prowess.

Murphy bite: Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: mason

Why them?: on a meta level: oh no he’s hot

but alma’s reasoning is that he’s very upfront about what he wants in the beginning and she’s never been pursued in such a way. It’s a bit of a rush and an ego boost for her at first. but mason’s loyalty very quickly becomes the steadiness alma’s been missing for most of her life and she latches on to that. she’s not had someone so dependable around in… well, ever. and her physical attraction becomes emotional VERY quickly.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: shy until they sleep together, then a mix of bold and genuine afterward.

What were their first impressions of each other?:

alma on mason: thought he was super attractive but that was quickly pushed aside by “holy shit, this guy’s an ass.” she thinks he’s an uncooperative jerk that only cares about himself for quite a while, honestly. she asks him along for things she wants to do alone precisely because she thinks he’ll be the most likely to just stay out of her way. she’s surprised by his attitudes and opinions, and her incorrect assumptions about them, during those times.

mason on alma: would never, ever, ever admit that his first thought upon meeting Alma was simply “cute.” he quickly found parts of her to assess individually. those first few days were mostly spent appraising her physical attributes and watching her back when she needed it. mason did find her funny right away, but he wasn’t willing to trust someone new, regardless of that person being their handler’s daughter or not.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

alma on mason: his eyes, freckles, and every single version of his smile. his decisiveness, differentially, and willingness to stab as a warning.

mason on alma: her hair tbh, there’s just… a lot of it. her hips, her eyelashes. He also likes her adaptability, sense of humor, and the warmth she gives with no expectation of reciprocation.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of stargazing, lots of watching tv very quietly and making fun of the storylines they don’t understand until they get bored and make out instead, walking around the quieter parts of wayhaven or taking late-night drives.

What is their favorite memory together?: i like to think mason finds the carnival photo of them after the place has been sacked and gives it to alma sometime later. both the taking of the photo and the giving of it are very fond memories for both of them.

What are their love languages?: touch, quality time.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: badly. mason absolutely hates it after a time. if alma’s out of town, he’s in her apartment with the excuse of feeding her cat, but it’s 100% just to sleep in her bed and be around all the things that make her, her. alma does a little better. she’s used to having folks sort of come and go and come again, but she gets almost hyper-insecure?? it’s nothing she’d admit openly, but she’s second-guessing herself in totally unrelated aspects of her life until they’re reunited.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: they don’t necessarily argue, but they disagree with the intent to problem solve. alma is pretty flexible and as long as she can understand why someone might feel the way they feel, she’s willing to hear them out or go along with their plan. if an argument does get out of hand, they need space from it for a while. they each have places to retreat for those times, and they wait for the “hey” text to come through to know it’s time to talk about it.

What does their future look like?: alma becomes a vampire two years into their relationship. they move into a quiet, old house on the edge of town until the whole team moves elsewhere. mason has to get used to having a cat because october has several years left in him. they don’t get married, but they’re inseparable.

Anything else you’d like to share: in the time before alma turns, mason learns to perfect making grilled cheese because it’s what alma craves when she’s not feeling well. He makes the grilled cheese then he immediately showers to get the smell off him but he makes it regardless.

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: depending on the playthrough it swaps between felix and nate, but felix feels more in character

Why them?: alma loves felix’s sense of adventure and nosiness. Most of all she loves that he won’t judge her for pulling the same shit every now and then.

What were their first impressions of each other?: alma was super thrown off by that hand kiss. “who the fuck is this mischief-maker?” while nate was very kind and warm, felix (surprisingly) was the UB teammate that really humanized the rest of the team for alma. he’s fun and genuine and wants everyone else to be happy together. felix was incredibly interested to learn more about alma, as a human, as his boss’s daughter, and then as a friend when she readily accepted the supernatural and, by extension, him as a vampire. The fact that she’s easily flustered or surprised really works in his favor because he lives for being the most shocking person in the room.

What do they do to spend time together?: they share music, they dance, and they text A LOT. lots of memes, lots of “what does [x] mean?” “oh nice” “[proceeds to use the thing they just learned incorrectly]”. they also compare and share hair products.

Anything else you’d like to share: they each have a tamagotchi named after the other (baby felix and baby alma) and they compete to see who can keep theirs alive the longest. everyone loses.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in-depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: oof okay. alma seeks rebecca’s approval and depends on her for a sense of safety and “stability.” in some ways, she wants to be exactly like her mom: strong, independent, unbothered, worldly. but a lot of that shatters the longer alma works professionally with rebecca and with the revelations surrounding rook. alma sees how much rebecca uses her as a crutch, projects her perceived failures onto alma’s life, and over-shelters her.

Relationship with Rook: alma doesn’t remember him and tries not to think of him often or fondly or at all BUT she has so many of his things. his flannels, his detective badge, his ancient comic book collection (which is the only reason she has her own). she has his eyes and his impulsive streak, his care for people of all varieties. she IS rook’s daughter and she ignores that fact so it doesn’t hurt her.

Relationship with Bobby: they used to be very close, slightly flirty friends but there’s no way in hell alma can trust him now. (i originally had bobby as alma’s ex but it was all getting a little too Bella Swan for me. like bobby, douglas, the werewolves, falk, and mason like????? it was a bit much so bobby’s just an old ex-friend)

Relationship with Verda: alma fucking loves verda. that’s her mentor, that’s her dad friend. she feels a sense of Pride and Accomplishment when she can make verda laugh or impress him in the lab, or both. alma’s fond of spending evenings over his place with eric and the kids, making dinner, or just hanging out.

Relationship with Tina: tina was alma’s first friend as a kid. they lost touch in high school because tina was bubbly and cute and popular, while alma was… not. but the summer before they left for college they ran into each other at a house party and since that reconnection, they’ve been thick as thieves. it was like nothing had changed. tina is a light in alma’s life, and alma lets tina lean into the stranger parts of herself without judgment.

Relationship with the Mayor: thinks he’s a creep and a bad parent.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: appreciates how he prioritizes the town and its people, but thinks he could loosen up a bit.

Relationship with Haley: haley is a couple of years older than alma but they’ve known each other forever. alma admires haley’s work ethic and cheery attitude.

Relationship with Elidor: oh man, alma is absolutely stunned by elidor. he’s beautiful, kind, and knowledgeable. in those early days, elidor is responsible for quite a bit of her supernatural education. alma grills him while he nurses her back to health. her curiosity is refreshing to him.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: alma thinks vieno is cute and funny, says hi when she sees them around, but they’re not best friends or anything. she can’t shake the thought that they’re basically a fae version of danny devito.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: absolutely smitten with lesedi. she’s never seen a more beautiful woman. tamiko ends up being a pretty good friend. the twins are on her social periphery but alma’s not close with them.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: alma sincerely wants to help them adjust to life in this world and takes that goal very seriously. at the same time she really really wishes falk hadn’t developed this weird attachment to her.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): YES. i’ve thrown another oc in wayhaven for the express purpose of being The Detective. His name is javi. alma met him in college and they were fast friends. alma convinced him to try out wayhaven after graduation. They lived together for a while and now they, along with tina, can often be seen in the corner booth of chen’s pub.

she was also very close with her maternal grandmother before she died. she was raised by her while rebecca was absent, but i need to develop this more.

her cat, october, whom she’s had for five years. he’s a sweet, mostly black tortie that can hardly meow. alma adopted him as an adult when she got her own place.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: alma is so open and ready to accept new possibilities. she’s the sort of person that embraces what scares her, finds beauty in it, and loves it intensely. she’s sharp and resourceful. i wouldn’t exactly describe her as hard-working, but she’s knowledgeable about her field and tries to be helpful when she has a goal in mind.

she’s quite tactile. touchy with other people. likes to use her hands for work or hobbies. she doesn’t really mind being alone for long stretches of time but would prefer not to be. she wants others to want to be around her.

she’s also terrible at being honest about her trauma. everything is fine, she’s fine, she doesn’t need to talk about this :) :) :) she will handle the breakdown when it happens and not one second before. also, with quick wit comes uncontrollable sarcasm and it does not always hit well.

Strengths: the only person in unit bravo that knows how to use google

Weaknesses: squishy

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: super torn here because wayhaven feels inland to me, but i think i’ve finally settled on the north carolina coast but not like the outer banks area. If not there, then maybe virginia, closer to the chesapeake bay.

What is their personal history?: alma is born to rook and rebecca in wayhaven. spends her childhood being raised mostly by her grandmother, idolizes rebecca. academic success comes easily for her; a heavy interest in science leads to a scholarship at a university just far away enough to feel like she’s Leaving The Nest. alma dates a bit in college but she’s the type to end up becoming friends with everyone she sleeps with and romance is difficult for her to cultivate. when she does date, the relationships are short-lived. she returns to wayhaven after school and puts her degree to work in wayhaven’s police department. she wishes she’d applied for a position in the city but craves the comfort (and tbh, the low stakes) of home.

If they weren’t a detective, what would their dream job be?: she’s a forensic analyst and honestly?? it’s a pretty dreamy job for her. she loves being a scientist, loves helping people, and isn’t easily grossed out.

Anything else you’d like to share: has tried to stay overnight in an ikea. did not succeed.

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: gemini

Hobbies: reading peer-reviewed journals, watching terrible sci-fi, collecting comic books and mugs, thrift shopping

Likes: good hair days, denim jackets, vanilla candles, halloween, unflavored lipbalm, driving at night, that warm “surrounded by love” feeling, snails, fuzzy socks

Dislikes: the lights while driving at night, winter, dry skin, minimalist decor, smudged glasses, being overwhelmed with choices

Drink of choice: white wine usually, white russians if she’s out at chen’s, or shots of jaeger if she’s feeling trashy

Starbucks order: grande flat white with 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon

Favorite food: a simple, fresh spaghetti pomodoro OR lemon meringue pie

Favorite color: golden mustard yellow

Favorite music: she loves just about everything and it’s heavily dependant on her mood. (this is actually really difficult to think about without feeling like i'm giving her my exact taste in music but here's a little playlist that fits her vibe)

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): science fiction or psychological thrillers, but her favorite movie is oliver and company.

Favorite season: fall

Anything else you’d like to share: has a stupid amount of blankets stashed around her apartment. she really does not like being cold.

[okayeojin]

loona as youtubers /pt1/

((this is the part 2 with gowon and olivia hye))

➢ 💌; fluff

author's note: for this scenario, let's pretend the girls are not part of loona and therefore are not kpop artists, but full time youtubers. they are still friends and know each other tho +++ i made all the edits, i hope u like them 🥺

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heejin

she would definitely post dance related content, like dance covers or even some tutorials (although not as many as people would want), she would even do some collaborations with hyunjin, for example. i can also see her (all of them, tbh) doing vlogs, where she would really talk a lot and interact with her followers, doing some lives, even doing some q&a s where she would collect and answer as many questions from her viewers as possible

hyunjin

mukbang channel. try to change my mind you can't. or still a food related one. i feel like she wouldn't talk too much in her videos, maybe giggle from time to time or some words here and there, but not much. she would probably post some dance covers too but it wouldn't be too frequent (rip for the viewers who want to see more of her dancing). also, during those few times of her talking, she would be so relatable and funny, everyone would love her spontaneous self and the beautiful person she was

haseul

acoustic covers acoustic covers acoustic covers- people would quickly fall in love with her angelic voice and she would start getting so many song requests to cover. she could also take some more hip hop songs and adapt them to her voice and to her own style, making them so unique. she would also make some lives i feel like, where she would sit at her piano and play something for her followers, that she loves to interact with and have a feedback from

yeojin

it might be because she's young, but i feel like yeojin would do a lot of unboxing on her channel, like videogames or makeup products. she's so playful and cute, the public loves her so much! she would also do a lot of reactions, maybe to music videos, also kpop dance covers and maybe some vlogs, like "a day in my life" but the chatoic version. she would joke around a lot in her videos, pull some pranks, interact with her fans and overall being a total ball of sunshine!

vivi

at first, for her, i was thinking about clothing hauls or thrifting vlogs, because i can really picture her going around with her camera, talking softly while shopping for cute clothes. people would also love her lookbooks and photoshoots, she's so pretty and delicate. but then the idea of asmr videos also popped into my head. i personally hate asmr videos, but with her soft voice she would be really good at it~ even tho i would prefer to stick with my first idea

kim lip

jesus christ. i left kim lip for last because i genuinely didn't know what kind of videos she would make as a full time youtuber. i think she wouldn't for very frequently to be honest... her main content would be talking about her viewers concers, giving them advices, and having some girl talk with her followers. she would be the oldest sister everyone wishes for aw~ mmh i feel like she would post more mature content, and maybe have a second channel to post vlogs etc

jinsoul

definitely vlogs, where she could show her viewers things she does in her daily life, maybe when she goes shopping, simple "a day in my life" kind of videos, and so on. her channel would be so aesthetic i feel like, people would love her energy sm she would get kinda famous in only a few days. she would be really spontaneous, taking her camera with her and just showing things she likes etc

choerry

definitely vlogs. please, she would love to talk to the camera and entertain her viewers, and she also loves to chat with them in the comments section, she would try to reply to everyone, such a sweetheart :c reason why, she would love to post q&a s videos, or like "i read your assumptions about me", and stuff like that, or also read her viewers concerns and give them advices. she would also love crafty ? activities, like drawing or following some diy tutorials and having fun with it

yves

this might be basic and not so original but... dance covers. maybe even dance tutorials. I wanted to think of something else for her, but like... this is it. she would attract so many people with her dancing skills, it's not even funny. and... maybe attract a lot of lesbians as well. this is unrelated but i think she would be very popular on gay tiktok and receive a lot of "do u listen to girl in red?" comments

chuu

i think she would do a lot of "chit chat" type of videos on her channel, simply sitting down in front of the camera, sometimes even in her pajama, and talking freely about whatever. every now and then she would ask her viewers about a topic to talk about, or some other times she would just talk about whatever came to her mind. she would also do reactions!! omg her cute facial expressions would make everyone's heart melt

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masterlist:°•☆

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {6}

Summary: Knowing the truth, Y/N wants to force Ethan to confess and in her attempt to prank him into doing it, she realizes the joke’s on her.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, talk of depression and anxiety

Word count: 4700+

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are, Isak Danielson - Love me Wrong, Dove Cameron - Remember me, Tom Odell - Can’t pretend, The XX - Angels, Coldplay - Fix you, Coldplay - The scientist, Elvis Presley - Can’t help falling in love.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is!

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

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Eccendentesiast (n.) - someone who hides pain behind a smile

Finding out something that absolutely goes against all you believe in isn’t quite something Y/N expected to happen once she woke up in the place she felt safest in all her existence – Ethan’s bed. She had never thought that something so earth-shattering, so unbelievably life-changing could be hiding in that brain of his she adored so much and while she felt the urge to scream at him, to throw a tantrum, even contemplated burning his damn apartment to the ground, she just sighed instead. There was no fight, no defiance left in her – yet she embarked on a journey, passing the stages of grief within minutes.

First came denial. Her shaky hand covers her mouth to stifle a whimper aching to escape her quivering lips, her breath shallow as she tries to understand. It wasn’t possible, right? She would have known if he were the one, right? Being around him all that time and not knowing? She didn’t know if that was ever recorded or if she is just the worst in detecting the man who is meant to be her soulmate. After all the time they’ve spent together, why would he keep quiet on such an important subject? Why would he have ever lied to her? Well, he didn’t necessarily lie, but he did omit a pretty big truth.

“Will you ever tell me about her?” Her voice is quiet, small, meek. She doesn’t really want to know, or ever hear him talk love with someone other than herself, but that tiny bit of silver in his hair haunts her more than she anticipated.

Ethan wets his lips, the corners of those soft plush rosy colored cushions she craved every minute of every time twitch and she can’t help her stare, nor the odd fixation she has with them. She had never met a human being with lips as perfect as his and she never thought there would ever be a pair of lips she’d be addicted to as much as she is to his. They’re a drug – he is a drug, but he’s the drug she chose and she couldn’t and wouldn’t rehab from.

“Do you want to do a heart transplant with me today?” And typically, in Ethan fashion, Y/N received no answer, however, the way he shifted her attention to anything but her question was effective and she quickly forgot about it altogether. 

At least for the day.

Then came anger. How many times did she ask him about his soulmate and he just bribed her into forgetting it? How many times did he have her right in the palm of his hand and he completely disregarded her or her wish to know? Or how about the fact that he knows exactly where she stands on the soulmate connections and he chose to hide it from her? Did he know from the start? Did he know it that night in the bar when she was just a wreck looking to lose the soulmate she happened to stumble upon? She wanted to find a way to wreck that love before it ever began and he was there? He must have seen the silver in her hair appear right before his eyes and yet he continued to flirt like nothing was wrong at all? Why? Why is he so cruel and selfish? Why couldn’t he just tell her the truth? Instead, he got into her bed and her heart and mind and she can’t deny that he’s there to stay. Now she understood his reasoning about pulling out and using condoms…he was afraid she’d get pregnant, not because they might get an STD.

“Fucking asshole.” She mutters under her breath as her eyes focus on her hands in her lap, her head throbbing as she glances back at the door, realizing they must have wised up and went to talk somewhere she can’t hear their lies become truths.

“You really want to use a condom? Don’t guys usually convince girls otherwise?” She rolls her eyes, wishing he would drop the ridiculous request yet all he does is pull his boxers up, much to her dismay.

“I’m not going to risk our health for a momentary pleasure. Y/N, we’re not exclusive and that’s something I’d love to change, but unless you do too, I’m not going in raw anymore.” Emotional blackmail, that’s how she saw it at the time – an ultimatum where he used her horny needs for his own use and while she wasn’t about to completely fall for it, she groaned and parted her thighs to give him a view he would build a shrine to if it didn’t make him feel like a total creep.

“I’m not ready for that. But if it means so much to you, put the condom on and get to work because a certain Grant had stressed me the fuck out and I need to get it out of my system.”

Third came bargaining. Finding excuses for him is incredibly easy for her, trying to make his actions justifiable. After all, didn’t she tell him she wouldn’t be with her soulmate? Didn’t she make it clear she wasn’t interested in ever going down that road after her parents showed her all the wicked ways that bond can work against you? Maybe he was just scared of losing her? Maybe he’s still scared she’d walk away and leave what they’ve built from ground up? But how could he think that after all they’ve been through? After she opened up to him, laid her soul bare? After she resorted to acting as his girlfriend without the official label? She did that to make him happy – everything she did was somehow connected to a smile she hoped to see.

“Look what I got you!” She tosses a surgical cap his way, too fast and off target and with no previous warning so much so he barely grabbed it as it fell toward the ground. Hospital floors may be clean, but they’re not that clean.

“What the? Turtles?” Ethan’s voice went higher as he questioned her choice, even more so when he saw her giggle as if she cracked some major code to his personality and while he found himself confused, he couldn’t help but chuckle to appease her. He could never not smile when she laughs.

“I heard Grayson call you turtleman and I found this the other day and you popped in my mind. You’re the only surgeon I know who doesn’t have his on-brand cap. Thought I’d fix it.” And with that victorious smirk of hers, she left him smiling like an idiot. He never liked customized caps, never wanted one, but she changed that in an instant. Even if it’s silly, he would wear it if it made her happy. Always.

But when depression settled in, she was defeated. There was no way around a fundamental concern that hounded her brain. What if Ethan only loves her because he knows she’s his soulmate? What if all of it was a lie? Their love felt like a cosmic joke now, something that rose bile in her throat and she couldn’t help but question his feelings for her. She loved him for him, but did he love her for her or the promise of true love? Is that what this was about? Could she have avoided him? If she locked the world away, would she have managed to escape this unrelenting pain inside her chest with the thought of Ethan’s feelings being fabricated? She always believed you should be your own planet, high up in space, but rooted in yourself. Then he came and anchored her and she never wanted anything more than him.

“Do you ever think about a world where soulmates are just a concept? Like, no one wrote your story, you get to choose it yourself?” She wondered out loud, staring up at the moon as Ethan’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into his embrace, their breaths synchronizing as he dipped his head in the crook of her neck and his lips placed a feather-light kiss upon her collarbone.

“No. I feel like we still have a choice in everything. You could escape your soulmate, or you could seek them out. You choose if you want to be romantic, friendly, or nothing at all. It’s not so bad, even if you find yourself addicted. What’s so wrong about loving someone that is made for you?” His low tone had given her chills, his beating heart made her heart still. The effect he has is unparalleled with anything she had ever experienced and he was only holding her. Why would she want anything more than him?

“In that case, I’m always finding myself addicted to wrong things.” She heard him hum in curiosity, his lips ghosting over her shoulder before leaving a quick peck that made her smile fondly, widely enough to wonder if she ever smiled as much before meeting him.

“You, for instance.” Turning her head to the side, her eyes find his as quickly as his lips find hers. There was never a need for words between them, their eyes and actions spoke volumes instead.

In the end, she faced acceptance. Ethan lied, hid things, manipulated her, but she understood why. She had ruined every chance he had to be honest and while she’s still cross with him for doing it, mostly because she could have been knocked up in her intern year, Y/N accepted he did it for both of them. It couldn’t have been easy to keep it a secret and it must have eaten away at him daily, but if he didn’t, she’d never know what it means to love a person so fully that your heart swells just by thinking of them. She’d never know what it’s like to daydream about a future she didn’t think she’d have and she would never have stuck around long enough to see what they could become. It would have been a shame to miss out on Ethan and the way he had turned her world upside down. This would be a big issue for her to get over, that’s for sure, but if the tree falls at the first gust of wind, the roots were never deep to begin with and their roots were really fucking deep.

Alexithymia (n.) - the inability to express your feelings

When she mouthed a faint ‘I love you’ to Ethan, she didn’t know if she would ever see him again. She had a madman holding a gun at the back of her neck, time just wasn’t on her side. It never was. But that’s when she realized she had more than enough chances to tell him how she felt and she always hid behind her pain instead of giving him her all. She did give ninety nine percent, but that last percent she held onto out of pure fear.

She wished she had a second chance to do it all over again – to go all in from start to finish, to tell him she loves him more than words could ever explain, that she loves him to the moon and back, that she will never stop loving him, even if the world stops spinning ‘round. She wanted to grow old with him, just him. She wanted him every day, all the time, for him to know that while she used to think love is nothing but chemistry, essentially a lie, he showed her she was wrong and she was never happier to be wrong in her life.

That’s when she realized that she used to see beauty in the world as a child, but then she learned the truth. Nothing ever lasts. This world is suffering until you’re dead and while she used to wonder why she was taking all that pain, why she bothered to wake up every day, she knew now. Her entire life had boiled down to the moment she would meet this man.

Her only regret is that she didn’t tell him she loves him enough, that the words would die with her and he deserved so much better.

And she’s still angry, vengeful even. But she can’t deny one abundantly clear fact – she loves Ethan Grant Dolan and even if he’s a lying douchebag, he’s her lying douchebag. Maybe she would forgive him eventually, but for now, she just wanted him to tell her the truth. However, instead of facing him while laying indisputable proof before him, she crafted a plan of her own.

Clearing her throat, she stood up and decided to find him and his equally treacherous brother. It didn’t take her long, because as soon as she walked into the living room, she found the pair talking in hushed voices. Grayson notices her first, slapping Ethan’s shoulder to shut up and they looked exactly like she imagined one would look if they were guilty.

“How did I get here?” She rubbed the back of her head, noticing it really is sore, likely from the fall she took earlier. Ethan didn’t blink as he rushed toward her, his big brown eyes checking her over as his hands felt drawn to her, resting on her hips to keep her steady.

“How are you?” The concern in his voice is palpable, enough for her to let a real smile slip past her.

“Confused. A bit sore. What the hell happened?” She chuckled at the continuous touches Ethan had issued as if his hands have healing abilities and would make everything stop aching. Maybe they were healing to some degree, but this isn’t something he could have fixed.

“The SWAT team got him. The girl was his daughter and he chased her and her mother halfway across the world. Abusive fuck got what he deserved.” Grayson fills her in and while she would usually be shocked by his foul language, she couldn’t really look at him the same knowing he too had lied to her. Sure, it wasn’t his secret to tell and looking back at it Grayson did drop massive hints for her to pick up on, but damn it, she thought they were closer than that.

“Good.” Swallowing thickly, she raises her hands slowly, allowing her palms to rest on Ethan’s cheeks, just noticing how pale he is. And she’s pissed at him, but she can’t help the pang of worry that makes her soften her gaze.

“I’m fine. I’m a little nauseous, but I’m fine.” She reassures him, her voice never quite as gentle as in that moment and Ethan’s lips quickly stretch into a smile she longed for - a smile she never thought she’d see again.

“I know. I’m just having a hard time dealing with today.” Shrugging, Ethan forces a smile before letting out a heavy sigh. “I really thought I’d lose you today and while I fucking admire you for being so brave, I really wish you’d fucking stop being so fearless and fierce. One day, it will get you killed and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for the pain of losing you that would annihilate me.”

Grayson took it as a cue to leave, offering a tiny wave as goodbye and “Glad you’re safe” before escaping the situation he saw as a possible fight.

But he was wrong. Instead of arguing, Y/N wrapped her arms around Ethan as tightly as possible. There was no escape, he was right. She tends to undervalue her life and offer it up whenever she deems it could save someone else. When she was a kid, she had done it when she offered her morphine to her dying friends, or when she had tackled a robber as a teenager or now, when she basically told a shooter to take her as a hostage for a child. She didn’t want Ethan to feel the loss that drove her mother to suicide, not ever. After years of wanting death, Y/N found herself wishing for a long life.

“I won’t do that again. I promise.”

A night in bed where they held each other for dear life was enough for the pair to find a way to breathe again. However, Y/N still wanted to exact her plan instead of just talking to her soulmate and expressing her feelings. It would start that morning.

Jumping from the bed, she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Ethan jumped right after her, startled by her sudden urgency, only to find her slamming the door in his face. But when he heard the unmistakable sound of her puking her guts out, his fists connected with the door with force enough for her to realize she has to calm him down.

“Open the door!” He insisted as the sound of her throwing up stopped and silence ensued.

“I don’t want you to see me this way! Plus, I’m fine. Probably just the stress.” She lied through her teeth, smiling on the other side of the door after her performance and while she knew it was cruel, so was his choice to lie to her since the night they met, way before she was his intern.

“I don’t care if you’re drenched in puke, I want to see you.” He exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. It’s sweet, but she can’t let him in because there was no residue smell of vomit and she needed it to be believable.

“I will let you in after I shower.”

And while he had waited in front of the door like a lost puppy, she showered and painted a small smile for him to see when the door opened again.

His arms wrapped around her instantly, the warmth of his touch making her melt and a little guilty for making him worry at all, yet she didn’t give up on her plan.

“I’m fine. I’ll make us breakfast.” Pecking his cheek, she tapped it lightly before getting dressed and doing just as she promised. That’s when she implemented part two of her plan.

“Why are you opening all the windows and why the hell are you holding a wet wipe to your nose?” Ethan found himself even more concerned when he found the very appealing eggs prepared on the kitchen island and his very beautiful soulmate running around wildly as she opened every window in sight.

“I don’t know, they smell so bad. I think the eggs went bad!” Shaking her head in disgust, she furrows her eyebrows as her eyes meet his and the odd frown on his face.

“They smell delicious.” But the moment he sat down, she rushed back into the bathroom, once again locking the door and pretending to throw up while Ethan is left on the other side for the second time that morning.

She washed her mouth away with mouthwash to have a reason for fresh breath instead of the sour smell vomit would cause, only to let him in this time. The open window above the toilet seemed to be a believable reason for the lack of vomit smells and she was ready to put her slightly shaken mask back on.

“You need to see a doctor. This isn’t just stress.” Ethan spoke, his hands running up and down her back as he massaged her gently to relieve whatever stress residue she may have.

“I am a doctor and I know my body, Grant. I’m fine and I want to work. It’s probably nothing, okay?” She leans into him, wondering if the pounding of his heart that is echoing in her ears right now truly worth her revenge.

It didn’t take long for Ethan to find Grayson once they came to the hospital. He left Y/N in the plastic surgery ward, unhappy with how pale she seems and even worse, how shaken up she still feels.

 Who gets back to work just a day after a traumatic experience and even more importantly, who comes into work when they feel under the weather? 

Ethan understands she wants to be a doctor and she doesn’t exactly have an eternity to take her time with it like the other interns, but he didn’t want her to work herself to death either. His idea of their future included a long life for both of them.

“She okay?” Grayson asks as he sips his morning coffee, crumbling the plastic cup in his hand right after he’s finished as he always does.

“I don’t think so, bro. She’s pale, queasy, threw up twice and thought the eggs are rotten even though they smelled and tasted delicious. I think she’s got a stomach bug.” Ethan licks his lips as his fingers thread through his hair, contemplating if sending her home would make her hate him again. He honestly didn’t know how many more fights he could handle.

“You’re kidding, right?” Grayson chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief before leaning toward his brother, his hand landing on his shoulder, firmly clutching him.

“What?” Ethan’s disgruntled groan follows his words, sparking up annoyance as Grayson’s grin widens.

“You’re a doctor and you can’t pick up on basic symptoms of pregnancy? I mean come on!” Tapping his brother’s shoulder, Grayson relents and leans back comfortably as Ethan begins to sweat.

“Fuck, no! I’ve been careful to the point of thinking about wearing two condoms! There’s no fucking way.” Ethan insists in a state of panic Grayson could see a mile away.

“There’s no such thing as safe sex with a soulmate and you know it. Dude, you’re a dead man walking.” Grayson didn’t mean to chuckle, very much aware how fucked up this situation is, but he also spend a better part of a century studying pregnancy, he knew the symptoms like the back of his hand.

“If she’s pregnant, she’s gonna know we’re soulmates and that’s not something she should find out like that! I was gonna tell her soon, on my terms. She should have had a choice in when she wants to get pregnant! She’s gonna hate me forever.” Ethan could feel his mind slipping into madness of his own creation, shaking as his mouth runs dry and he can’t even string two sentences right

“Hey.” But then she shows up in the worst possible moment and she can’t help but notice the way Ethan paled once she walks in, making her wonder just how fast did he connect the dots. He’s clearly freaking out and she’s assuming he’s doing so because of all the hints she dropped during the morning.

“I just wanted to ask Grayson for a consult.” She feigns innocence as she walks closer to Ethan, placing her hand on his back.

“Sure, just, uh…Would you mind if I ask you something for uh….study I’m doing?” Everything he had said came with a stutter, but Grayson figured he could be inconspicuous and get some solid information on which his brother could form his next steps.

“Shoot.” Y/N cringes at her choice words, it was too soon for her to joke on what had nearly taken her life just the day before but she spoke before thinking and it was too late to take it back and neither of the twins said a word anyway.

“Are your periods regular?”

Frowning, Y/N noted the pink hue on Grayson’s cheeks, loving just how uncomfortable he feels and even more the death glare Ethan sent his way. It was pure comedy watching them sweat after they’ve played with her head for so long.

“Yeah.”

“And when was your last period?” Grayson managed to say without losing his shit, feeling as if he too would hyperventilate the longer Y/N kept quiet, mulling it over longer than she should have but they were changing shades of red right before her eyes as she widens her eyes as if she too had realized something is amiss.

“I need to go.” She had never left the room faster, making Ethan’s heart drop and there was no returning from this. Looking back at the door, Ethan imagined a Y/N shaped hole in the door, aware he’s fucked for life.

“She’s late and I’m pretty sure she just figured that out. So congratulations, bro, we’re about to have a mini Dolan with us.”

Ethan wasn’t himself that day. He had walked around the halls half dead as dread gripped him. He must have changed his clothes at least five times during his eight hour shift, each time because he sweat through the scrubs – courtesy of anxiety and a crippling fear of losing Y/N. 

How could he be so irresponsible and keep the truth hidden for so long?

At the time, he had justified it with the possibility of her leaving him in the dust, but he had no right to keep it a secret for this long. She deserved to know when they started being intimate and no matter what excuse crosses his mind, there’s nothing he can tell her to issue forgiveness once she finds out.

When he got home, he found her shoes at the door, tossed as if she was in a hurry. Surprised she had come home earlier than him when she was supposed to do a double shift, Ethan took his jacket off and called out for her.

“Y/N? Sweetheart?” No response. Swallowing thickly, Ethan rubs his face before walking into the bedroom, finding a box at the bed and the bathroom door closed with the light shining from under it.

Apprehensive, he moves closer. He wishes he is brave enough to knock on the door and tell her he loves her and that he needs to come clean about something that would impact them both, but he’s frozen as he nears the bed and the label on the box that becomes easier to read the closer he gets. He’s anxious. It comes as an electrical storm in his brain that, quite honestly, is painful. It's different from a headache and it feels the same as intense sorrow, perhaps as a sort of frozen panic with nowhere to go, and he can’t pretend anymore as his eyes finally read what the box says – Home Pregnancy Test.

“You’re home early.” Her voice is void of joy, of anger, of sadness, of emotion. She sounds defeated, exhausted, weak. With a tiny gasp, Ethan turns to see her, noticing her holding the item in question and he can hardly breathe as he takes in the disheveled look she rarely allowed herself to sport. Her mascara is ruined, her lipstick smeared and her eyes have lost their light.

“You, uh…have a pregnancy test?” Ethan could barely talk, words becoming hard to form as he tried to seem unbothered but even she could tell he was losing his shit. There isn’t a man in this world that had treated her right and just as she believed Ethan might be the one, he had reminded her just why she resisted for so long.

“It was supposed to be a joke…a way to make you confess. It’s not funny anymore.” She tossed the test on the carpet in a momentary flash of anger and he didn’t dare look down.

“Confess?” Uttering like he had forgotten how to speak, unable to move an inch, Ethan stared at her and he couldn’t even pinpoint what he feels anymore, much less what she feels.

“I know we’re soulmates. And I was angry. I was so angry at first, but I understood. I just wanted to hear you say it and I was going to make you think I’m pregnant, but I don’t have to make you think anything anymore. When Grayson asked me those questions today, I realized I really am late. Two weeks.” Sniffling, she drags her sleeve under her breath as tears form in her eyes.

“Well, your lies have caught up with us both.” She went silent as he glanced down at the test and found two thick lines have formed. Looking back at her in shock, he felt his soul leave his body and he couldn’t speak, not when he had no excuse for what just went down.

When you hurt a woman you love, most of them can't even look at you, not even turn to you. But what does a man do when the woman he hurt, the woman he loves most in the world, stares right into his soul as he shatters her completely? What can a man do when her teary eyes hold his with such bravery, such complexity as she crumbles and he has to see it happen? When he's the perpetrator and sole witness of her fall? There isn't a single thing in this world that breaks like a heart does, Ethan knew that now for in this silent exchange between their souls, the silence has never been so deafening.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Tags: @beinscorpio​​​ @peacedolantwins​​​ @heyits-claire​​​ @dolandolll​​​ @godlydolans​​​ @dolanstwintuesday​​​ @ethanhes​​​ @iwastornsincethestart @graydolan12​​​  @zeusgrayson​​​ @libradolan​​​ @justordinaryjen​​​ @pineappledolan​​​ @graysavant​​​ @voguekristens @imayoutubere @livexdolan​​​  @shadowsndaisies​​​ @maybgrayson​​​​ @dolans4lyfe​​​​ @mendesficsxbombay​​​​ @fxkthatdairy @sharpdolan​​

Anyone crossed out wasn’t able to be tagged, probably an issue on Tumblr’s side, sorry.

[vgm-in-irregular-time-of-the-day]

DAY 1850) Tron 2.0 - Credits Medley

Composer: Nathan Grigg, Wendy Carlos

Given that this is a medley; there’s lots of timesig changes but they’re more like unrelated sections from each other, often totally fading in/out or with ambiguous pauses, so I’ll just talk about each section separately.

0:00 - 1:29 is all just 4/4, frantic drums, crazy synth sound design, but no odd time really for this section.

1:29 - 1:44 i’m counting as triplets in mixed meter: 4/4, 4/4, 5/4, 5/4, 6/4, 5/4, 4/4. if you were to count those as 8ths instead of triplets it’d be more like 12/8, 12/8, 15/8, 15/8, 18/8, 15/8, 12/8 (replace the 8s with 16s if you’re going to be weird like me and count them as 16ths if you find x/16 more natural to think about for some reason) !

1:46 - 2:17 is polymetric! The syncopated bell-like synth ostinato is in 7/8, but the slower synth hits and most everything else behind it really are in 6/4. For a short bit before 2:17 I guess there’s some 5/8 polymeter in one of the synth layers also. Some other more ambiguous stuff you might be able to interpret as even further layers of polymeter but the point is like, yeah this part’s lots of layers looping in different loop lengths from each other on top of each other!

2:17 - 3:06′s at a bit faster a tempo than the previous section. Also polymetric but a lot simpler case of it. 4/4 in that metallic bell-like synth rhythm, and 6/4 polymeter in the beeps under it from 2:17 - 2:42

3:06 - 4:03, here it’s 6/4 through most of the parts of this that have enough of a rhythm to latch onto something, which only really happens starting with the echoy drums that come in at 3:31.

4:03 - 4:45 is interesting; this is taken from “FCon/The Root of the Problem (Combat)”, which is one of the tracks I have on my biiiiig queue of possible tracks to eventually post on here but never happened to ever post. I’d count this snippet of it as all 7+8, 15/16, but just being aware that there’s a constant four-on-the-floor “4/4″ kick acting “polymetric” to it from the bits at 4:15 - 4:21 / 4:27 - 4:34.

4:45 - end is all loose, but just 4/4 stuff whenever concretely countable

Hopefully I addressed everything important here! there’s a lot going on in all of these sections, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I missed an obvious polymeter layer or something and just didn’t realize it! Lots of these sections come from other tracks in the game too, so are in a bit different of a context musically from their amalgamation here. Obviously wild tempo changes between each section that i’m not bothering to write out lol

This is a great cross section of the crazy stuff present throughout this ost though, tron 2.0 is totally one of the most odd time/polymeter/etc filled game soundtracks out there. Part of that’s obvious influence from Wendy Carlos’s original score to the 1982 film being much like that (and this game borrowing a lot of the material she wrote), but Nathan Grigg’s style is always full of that kinda thing as well, and he only adds to that intricacy in his original additions to the mix!

For all those reasons I thought this would be a pretty good sort-of-sendoff for this blog i’ve been running for over 5 years...........

....so...

...!

...THE FINAL DAY sort of...! As I said many posts ago (https://vgm-in-irregular-time-of-the-day.tumblr.com/post/623135939348365312/day-1828-shining-force-cd-track-25-composer) [probably a better read than my post right now here today], this will be my final post that’s in the “1 song presented with a text post daily” format; I’ll take a break but I will eventually shift to talking about this again in (most likely) YT video vgm mixes, including other related content besides just the very specific odd timesig stuff in vgm too!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me all this time! ULTRA SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO CHz who has helped me out with this blog FAR more than anyone could possibly imagine, he’s done far more work than anyone ever needed to do, far beyond my expectations to help me along with this. And he doesn’t get enough credit for that, this blog would’ve probably died a long time ago without chz’s help. Thank you so much CHz for all your assistance! Sharing me things you remember when I’m in desperate need of a new track to post at the last minute, uploading so much music for me, helping me organize so much, writing out timesig charts for me so many times, sharing overwhelmingly huge amounts of odd time vgm with me, probably even more than anyone else. So many other things all these years you’ve helped me with on here, I can’t thank you enough!

That said, thank you to EVERYONE who has shared odd time vgm with me (and this is like, a LOT of people, far too many to list, and i’m sure plenty would be uncomfortable being listed too, so i won’t subject this post to that).

I’m very bad at responding to PMs and other messages sent to me; I apologize greatly if i’ve left you hanging for months...or years...or forever. I’m just bad at that form of communication lol, but I’ve read the majority of what’s been sent and still try to keep as much as possible in my big list backlog of stuff to eventually post. I get excited and happy when I see people linking me new odd time vgm i’ve never heard and stuff like that; so if i’ve never responded or never posted stuff you’ve linked me here, please know that I actually do appreciate it even if i might not show it haha. I’ve honestly mostly only maintained this blog pretty sporadically and rely heavily on queuing everything in advance on occasion, rather than constant observation of it.

Once i shift to the new format of presentation i’ll still include the suggestions that’ve been linked to me, and stuff. I’ll maybe try to be more communicative in the future now that i’m not going to be bogged down by the load of keeping a constant daily stream of these posts. (though i probably won’t be paying too much attention to tumblr for a while during my break from doing this stuff)

thank you to everyone for every positive comment, every intent to help by sharing, and just...general inquisitiveness and enthusiasm about this THING i’m doing for no reason! This is all literally just me nerding out about my favorite combination of niche subjects together “proggy/mathy/etc music” and “video game music” at the same time as each other. I never expected this would get anything close to the following it’s gotten, but now occasionally it’ll get pointed out that this blog is me in some group i’m in or something and 5 people will be like “WAIT...that’s YOU?! I’ve been watching that blog for years!” or something; like i’m really startled by how many people follow this sometimes lol.

Really thankful for everyone showing interest in me just being me, having fun talking about things i like in music. I hope that can continue even if i’ll be changing what I talk about and how I talk about it!

It might be quite a while before I return to doing this kind of thing again, and it’ll definitely be a much less constant pace, but I think that trade-off be worth it. I’ll return to making posts here again when I finally have new stuff to post, big video mixes with animated visual transcriptions or WHATever i wind up doing (probably a new dedicated youtube channel for the new stuff too) and stuff! I’ll find out what that will be when I get there

Thank you all for everything!

THank you!

WOW

THANKJ YOU for all 5 years of this website being a fun place to post music i like inside of

BYE

OH WAIt here’s my twitter/soundcloud/etc links and stuff if you want to contact me in a place i’ll be far more attentive to than tumblr, since i won’t be paying attention to here for a while:

https://twitter.com/chimeratio_

https://soundcloud.com/chimeratio

ok now ACTUALLY BYE

THANK YOUI

(thank you part 2)

[gaphic]

Hi! 💛 Do you have any headcanons for the Specialists in your au?

HELLO YES I DO sorry this post took so long :( 

here we have the specialists + nabu! these designs and backgrounds might change a bit going forward (I’m still not 100% on whether Helia should be a tree or a manlet, for example) but this is the gist 

Obviously the first thing, design-wise, was getting everybody a distinct style lol. I’m still working on their personalities and backgrounds, but my goal in general is just to make them more unique + have more fleshed-out relationships with eachother and the winx girls. long mess under the cut! 

Brandon: Sky’s BFF4LYFE. He’s a prettyboy and he cares a lot about his appearance, which makes him a little bit of an outlier in Eraklyon high society, since it’s a relatively conservative planet. Growing up he often had to act as Sky’s common sense, because 11-year-old princes dont really understand limits or consequences, so now he’s kind of the brain cell of the group. At first that gives him some friction with Stella, but they eventually bond over being a beautiful bi power couple who think they’re not good enough for eachother

(Brandon still switches places with Sky for his protection, and I think it would be really sweet/funny if he thought Stella didn’t know and there was a confession moment where he was like ‘Stella,,,,, I am,,,,,,,,, A Commoner,,,,,,,,,,,,’ and she’s like ‘I know dude Sky’s my cousin,’ but because Sky Is Her Cousin I don’t think I can make the logic work) 

Sky: Coming up as a sheltered, privileged prince in a conservative social space gave Sky a low regard for the rules but also a really weird conception of what ‘the rules’ are. Attending Red Fountain is the first time he’s mingled with people outside his planets nobility in any meaningful capacity, so he spends a lot of time just feeling out what the social norms are and learning that some rules are actually there for a reason and not just cause your parents suck. Bloom gets comfortable with him pretty much immediately because of that shared culture shock

Riven: Also from Eraklyon, but Riven grew up in a poor backwater with a pretty crappy family situation and a lot of internalized self-hatred, among other things. I’m toying with the idea that maybe Riven hasn’t figured out he’s gay, and his rivalry with Sky is the manifestation of the attraction he doesn’t know how to deal with. Also he dresses like someone gave life to a pinterest board of angry Pat!D bisexual fashion 

Helia: This one hails from Magix. He’s still Saladin’s grandson, still an artist, still a prodigy who dropped out of Red Fountain because he’s a pacifist. I’m thinking he kind of romanticizes nature as being this pinnacle of peace and harmony, and he dreams of someday moving to Linphea to become a leaf hermit or something. Flora gently liberates him of the idea that pacifism has any place in a garden, lmao. He’s a total mori boy and his hair is insured for 50 million MXD (magix dollars) 

Timmy: Also from Magix. This version of Timmy is less of a computer guy and more of an engineer. He does get into coding now and then, but his focus is on mechanical stuff, which he finds more elegant. He gets 30 minutes of sleep a night and watches a LOT of trashy tv, and although he usually puts on a good display of level-headedness he has an easily exploitable glitch where he can be made to do literally anything if Tecna calls him a pussy. I’m thinking he was raised by a single mom with not a lot of money or free time, which is the main reason his clothes all look like they come from the dumpster behind walmart

Nabu: Either from Andros or an original planet, I haven’t decided yet. What I have decided is that Nabu is a trans girl who DOES NOT DIE- although there is some angsty magic damage that results in her being out of commission for a while. She’s the heir to a noble family, and I’m thinking she spent a lot of her teen years at a snobby boys-only school, and they’re really pissed a nasty girl is doing unorthodox things with their Top Secret Tricks lol. Either that or she joined a special magical order of some kind of her own volition, perhaps as an act of rebellion because she was angry about her arranged marriage? (she does look so good in monk chic) idk, I really need to put more thought into her. I’m going to keep her meeting Aisha without revealing her identity, because the whole ‘I wanted to meet the horrible girl my parents forced on me, but it turned out she wasn’t so horrible’ thing is SO delicious imo, but I’m dispensing with the sliiightly stalkery undertones of the original. She goes out of her way to MEET Aisha, but not to follow her around or anything. She just teams up with the winx for unrelated reasons 

thanks SO much for this ask!!! it’s so amazing and encouraging to see interest in my au, i really hope i can impress you guys

[ltwinks]

So today I fucked up, kinda, I guess.

I have ADHD. In a nutshell and in an extremely-super-simplified way of explaining it, ADHD is what happens when your brain doesn't process dopamine like a neurotypical brain does; it doesn't get enough or it isn't consistent enough, so it becomes an absolute dopamine fiend and constantly searches for sources of

The Good Chemical.

From what I understand, doctors and scientists and whatnot can't agree on what exactly the issue is (which is, I think, where the idea that it doesn't exist comes from?), but that isn't related to how I fucked up.

I have had it my whole life (as you do, you're born with it) but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 23. An adult.

Anybody who knows me in real life (what's up, Val!) can attest that I was a very bad student, but like, in a weird way. I always forgot to do the homework and usually forgot to do take-home projects, but my test scores were generally awesome. I had an incredibly difficult time paying attention, not because I was bored (I mean, 'bored' in the way neurotypical people are bored; in terms of ADHD-style boredom, I'm actually the CEO of the company), but because I could not force my brain to focus. I read other books and wrote things that were entirely unrelated to the class (people used to imitate how my seventh and eighth grade math teacher used to say "Put away anything that's not math!" in his loud, booming voice, and I was generally responsible for him saying that so often) and daydreamed and stared into space (which I now know is called d i s s o c i a t i n g). Basically, you know the teacher from Peanuts? The one whose dialogue is just a formless salad of sounds? That's what people sound like when my brain decides there's no dopamine to be found here, cue the Windows shutdown sound.

What I'm getting at here is that, looking back, it was pretty obvious, but only if you were looking for it. Like, I don't have The Zoomies (usually, but sometimes I will admit that I fancy a good sprint) or other hyperactive activities or behaviors, and that was the hallmark of ADHD back then. So if you were just looking for Zoomies And Other Extreme Sports, you wouldn't even see me.

Aaaaaaand it's pretty clear that I should have had an IEP. And then maybe school would have turned out better for me and not been so stressful that I (for legal reasons, this is a joke) wanted to un-alive myself by yeeting myself into traffic.

But what's in the past is in the past. I got my diagnosis now and, with a therapist, am putting together a toolbox of techniques and strategies to help me be A Functional Adult©.

And now we come to the part where I fucked up.

Because like any good ADHD story, it must be winding and long-winded and go off on at least two tangents that aren't totally necessary to the story but I'm not sure if they're not so here, have some exposition, I made it just for you and please help yourself to a second serving if you're still hungry.

I made the decision not to tell my mother that I have ADHD. I have three autistic siblings and another sibling diagnosed with ADHD, but he's the hyperactive type and I'm the inattentive type, so our symptoms present a little differently. Without a doubt, I know my mom would feel so guilty if she knew she missed the fact that I have ADHD and I struggled because of it.

So I figure, I can't change the past, I am becoming able to live with it, and making her feel guilty is cruel and unproductive when there's nothing she can do fix it.

A friend of mine just got diagnosed with autism and he has been posting about it on Facebook a lot since then. Today, he posted an apology, saying he realized how much he's been posting about it and that he'll rein it in. I posted a comment saying that I get it, I got a neurodivergent diagnosis as an adult too, and it's so clarifying to get answers and see the pieces fit together, and that it's healing to not have to wonder anymore why I am the way I am and that it's not my fault; my brain is wired a little differently.

THE PROBLEM IS that my friend is also my brother-in-law and we're friends on Facebook, and my mom is a mutual friend. She saw his post and my comment and commented "I'm so happy for both of you!"

And that's it. She hasn't called me or texted me, and that's weird behavior for her. Usually she would instantly call and confront me. I can only assume that she's freaking out.

Yeah, I fucked up. Thanks for reading.

[ohnohetaliasues]

Tokyo OC (Setsuna Miyuu)

(Kat)

So, an anon sent me a note about this OC, and I found her almost immediately on Hetalia Fan Characters Wiki. Let’s get into it.

I made a Tokyo OC a while ago, so this should be interesting.

Tokyo (東京 Tokyo) is the capital city of Japan in the series Hetalia: Axis Powers. She is sometimes referred to as Tokyo Metropolis (東京都 Tokyo-to). Her human name is Miyuu Setsuna (刹那 美夢ー Setsuna Miyuu).

Okay, so both Miyuu (more commonly spelled as Miyu) and Setsuna are first names.

Also I read the Kanji for ‘Miyuu’ as ‘Mimu’ so there’s that.

This looks like a Love Live character.

Okay, so as cute as this chibi is, I think this character is a bit whitewashed. She looks Caucasian as opposed to Japan, who does look Asian for the most part.

Name: Tokyo Metropolis (東京都) Human Name: Miyuu Setsuna (刹那 美夢ー Setsuna Miyuu) Alternative Spelling(s): N/A Age: 16

No.

Too young.

Tokyo was originally called Edo, and Edo castle was built in 1457, then became the center of Tokugawa Ieyasu’s military government in 1603. She would be a little older than 16.

Gender: Female Birthday: February 10th

This date has nothing to do with Tokyo’s history.  You could try May 1st, which is the day Tokyo was established as a city.

Hair Color: Caramel Brown (manga), Caramel Brown (anime) Eye Color: Maroon (manga), Cherry Red (anime)

Seeing as none of the countries have abnormally colored hair and that they physically cannot dye their hair, this is not normal because Japanese people typically don’t have red hair. They have dark hair.

Case in point.

Height: 145 cm

Why in fresh hell is she 4′7″? The average height of a Japanese woman is around 5′2″ or so.

Appearance

Tokyo, Japan

She has brown hair that reaches a few inches below her shoulders and a P-shaped curl on the middle of her head.

Does this represent anything?

Her hair is wavy and some of it on the side also curls inward. This was from the effect of having to tie her hair up too often when she was a child.

No. This isn’t how hair works. I tie my hair up plenty and it doesn’t leave a permanent dent, even if my hair is naturally curly.

Despite this, Tokyo's original hair color is actually black.

Like I said, countries cannot dye their hair, so this is not plausible. Leave her hair as black if you wanna stay accurate.

In her first appearance as a character, she wore an above-the-knee black yukata with a reddish-pink sash and a bell at the side. However, when she grew up with Japan, she is seen wearing a seemingly military-type set of clotes with gold linings and black accents.

She would still wear pants and not a skirt because wearing a skirt as a military uniform in combat would be really silly.

Her left boot is noticeably shorter than the right.

Is there a practical reason for this?

As a child, she wore a white kimono that looked big and loose on her. Her hair was styled like two triangular-shaped buns that looked like riceballs.

A white kimono?

From what I know about kimonos, you don’t wear white kimonos unless you’re getting married. Other than that, white kimonos are only ever worn under the actual kimonos and are called nagajuban.

Personality and Interests

Though described as determined and strong-willed, Tokyo doesn't know much of other nations. She tends to be rather shy and gentle to strangers, sometimes acting nervous like she would make a mistake.

Tokyo has the best metropolitan economy in the world, so I’d imagine she’d be generally pretty outgoing. She’d talk to others in a business-like manner because of this, possibly. My own Tokyo OC is afraid of explosives because of the bombings that took place in Tokyo and she is also careful with what she spends because of the economy thing.

Despite this, Tokyo shows a more outgoing and cheerful side to the nations or capitals she's already a bit close to.

Tokyo secretly likes making robots but she doesn't usually reveal her inventions to the other nations or capitals, only to Japan.

I mean, Japanese electronics are pretty common, so I find this silly.

She has a verbal mannerism to say 'ryuun' just like the way China says 'aru'.

Is there an actual reason for this?

Tokyo was relatively quiet and timid as a child. There showed one time when she kicked Susanoo square on the face for eating her sushi, showing that she was quite aggresive.

Who in the hell is Susanoo?

Relationships

Japan

When she was a child, Tokyo lived in Japan's house at a separate room and only went outside to eat a snack or use the bathroom. Eventually, she started to open up more when the other nations China, America and England started visiting Japan. This lead to her meeting Washington and London and seeing her childhood friend Beijing again.

Um.

No.

Holland was the first to visit Japan after he closed his boarders for nearly 263 years, and I’m concerned that he’s not mentioned. I mean, sure America arrived around 1853.

Also, why Washington? It isn’t inaccurate since Japan sent cherry trees to plant along the Potomac River in 1910, but that was 57 years after the boarders opened again.

Okay, did this person even do their research?

China

Main Article: China

China took control of Japan when he was a kid. Before being Japan's capital, she secretly followed him. When China found out about her, she was forced to work as a servant.

N O.

NO.

NO.

Okay no.

China never formally occupied Japan, at least not as far as I know. They were connected politically, but China never actually totally controlled Japan.

However, during WWII Japan did actually occupy some of China’s land.

Do your goddamn research.

Beijing

When Tokyo became China's servant, she met Beijing. Beijing introduced himself as her boss, being China's capital, and often made fun of her and made her work twice as usual.

One time when Beijing asked for Tokyo to cook siopao for him, Tokyo screwed the dish and made Beijing throw up. Since then, he never asked her to cook for him.

This is irrelevant since this was never a thing.

Germany

When Japan became part of the Axis, Tokyo had an opportunity to meet Germany. There is not much known about there relationship, save for the fact that Tokyo dubbed him as a "respectable person".

Uh, okay.

Berlin

Berlin met Tokyo through Germany. They became friends and often shared thoughts, only about war and fighting. Tokyo stated that Berlin was "a person to go to when you're in trouble", contrasting the fact that other nations avoid Germany when they have trouble.

This is irrelevant.

Paris

When Paris went to a vacation in Japan, she met Tokyo and made friends with her. She thinks that Tokyo is her little sister and loves going shopping with her. Paris likes her a lot and is the reason why Tokyo has a lot of "weird" clothes. Despite this, Tokyo hates shopping and going to places with crowds.

Okay, no. Tokyo is a giant city. She would have to be pretty used to crowds and shopping since Tokyo has many markets and shopping districts.

I might even say she would like things like this.

Italy

Italy met Tokyo when he was running away from Germany. Tokyo introduced herself while Italy forgot about being chased.

???

Italy said that Tokyo was like a kid by the way she looks and sometimes calls her "sorellina".

Um. Okay.

Rome

Rome and Tokyo hang out as much as Italy and Japan. They are shown to have good relations with each other as Rome feels that he can trust Tokyo to tell about his problems. Rome often asks Tokyo for tips on how to woo women but it eventually turns out to a disaster since Tokyo doesn't know much about "wooing".

South Italy (Romano)

Tokyo and Romano don't have a good relationship. When the two met, Tokyo was dressed up as a boy so Romano didn't recognized her as a woman. The two bumped into each other and Romano cursed at her, still not knowing her actual gender.

Tokyo's gender was only revealed to Romano when Tokyo went with Japan to look for Italy. But since then, Romano's harsh attitude still hasn't changed towards her.

WHY ARE EITHER OF THESE RELEVANT?

London

Yes. This is accurate. London and Tokyo have a partnership agreement. They even have universities which are connected.

Tokyo and London are close friends just as Japan and England are.

But that’s not why they could be friends.

They met from London being introduced by Japan and since then they have been good friends.

No.

London and Tokyo both enjoy having conversations about anime or about who they ship. Due to London being honest with her opininon Tokyo is always able to confide in her.

Don’t trick me into thinking you did your research when you didn’t.

Name

The exact inspiration behind her human name was from the Japanese word "setsuna"

Japanese name, you mean. But yes, also a word.

which means "in a split second" and "miyu" meaning "beauty" or "dream". This in total gives her name a meaning of "beauty in a split second" or "dream in a split second".

And, my dear readers, this has nothing at all to do with the city of Tokyo.

Discussing further, it is known that Tokyo has a hobby of drawing scenes or events that happen in her dreams. She does this first thing in the morning or whenever she wakes up from sleep. It is revealed that she keeps a pencil and a sketchpad underneath her pillow which she calls her "dream board".

Okay, but this is again, irrelevant. Characters are allowed to have their quirks and hobbies, but with Hetalia OCs, you have to be careful of giving them totally unrelated hobbies.

Character Songs

Marukaite Chikyuu

Hatafutte Parade

Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo

There are no links even on the wiki page, so I guess those are useless.

Trivia

When the Axis celebrated Tokyo's birthday on February 10th by buying her cake, she ate it all without sharing which lead to the fact that Tokyo loves confections. She said sorry after not giving the others the food.

Alright, I guess.

In a comic strip, Beijing mumbled to himself in his room that, "I'm gonna be her boss so we'll finally meet so she can notice me," revealing that Beijing was quite lonely and only wanted Tokyo as a playmate and not actually a servant.

What comic strip? Is this person just pretending Himariya wrote their characters in? I’m confused.

China once called for Tokyo and Japan and looked at them in their eyes. He stated that their eyes looked dull and same but had a different hue.

China just called Japan and Tokyo to look at their eyes? Doesn’t he have better things to do with his time?

Okay, so all that is left is a bunch of art in the gallery, but I don’t know how much of it is stolen and how much of it isn’t, so I’ll just leave it where it is.

Anyway, this OC needs research. Look up information about Tokyo’s history, about Japan’s history. Surprisingly, that video on YouTube, ‘History Of Japan,’ that’s actually a usable source, as silly as it is.

Anyway, I’ll see you guys later. Thanks for recommending this character to me, Anon!

~Kat

[rahirah]

via Barb's Place Ms. Fix-it by Barb C Rating: G Setting: Post-The Gift Characters: Willow, Giles Synopsis: If Willow doesn't take care of things, who will? Author's notes: Written for the 2019 Which Willow Ficathon. This is a stand-alone, canon-compliant fic. (I.e. not part of the Barbverse.) Buffy Summers had been dead for exactly one week, three days, eighteen hours, and forty-two minutes. Not that Willow was counting. She didn't have to; the slow and steady energy drain of the spell she was using to keep the body from decaying while they all decided what to do was counter enough. The click-click=click of her heels on the pavement followed her around the corner as she turned off Wilkins and onto Maple, heading for the Magic Box. The sun's last rays painted the western sky a brilliant orange behind the roofline of the storefronts. The strap of the satchel she carried dug into her shoulder, and she concentrated on the small discomfort, willing it to drown out the whirring of her thoughts. Inside her head, Goody-Two-Shoes Rule-Following Willow kept pointing out that concealing Buffy's death was seriously dodgy, and could only cause more problems the longer they kept it up. Once the authorities did get involved, surely they wouldn't be happyif they found that Buffy Summers' friends had just... buried her in the back yard, well, in Miller's Woods, in a home-made coffin, without a permit or an autopsy or a death certificate, as if she were a pet goldfish or something. Buffy had died without a will, so would the house go to Dawn, or to Mr. Summers? Or to both? Would they have to go through probate? (What even was probate, anyway?) She was pretty sure that they couldn't afford a lawyer, if Mr. Summers wanted to fight for custody, and even if they could, what judge would let a minor stay with a couple of unrelated barely-out-of-minorhood hemselves women instead of her own father? And could they pay the mortgage? Would the bank foreclose? But Dawn didn't want to go live with her father, and no one could contact Hank Summers anyway. And there was also the hiding-the-Slayer's-demise-from-demonkind-because-the-replacement-Slayer-was-doing-ten-to-twentyness of the whole situation. What Willow really wanted to do was curl up somewhere and cry. But if she did that, nothing would get done at all. Dawn was a mess, Xander was obsessing over the planning of the aforementioned back-yard funeral, Anya was great at pointing out problems but not nearly as forthcoming with solutions, Spike was an alcoholic puddle on the crypt floor. Tara could offer emotional support, but not much else. And Giles, the actual certified grownup, was wandering blankly through the motions of, well, just about everything. So (argued Subversive Countrculture Hacker-cum-Superwitch Willow) obviously the only thing to do was fix up the Buffybot yet again, and pretend that Buffy Summers was alive and well. Not that that would really help much on the paying-the-mortgage front, unless they sent the Buffybot out to get a job, which at this point was looking like a better and better idea, but totally aside from all of that, the truth was, part of her simply wasn't able to bear the idea of sealing, stamping, or certifying that Buffy Summers was really most sincerely dead. The sign on the Magic Box door said "OPEN," but only a single light shone in the back of the store, illuminating the rare books section. Willow cupped her hands against the glass and peered through the blinds. She could see a dark figure hunched at the reading table. Was Giles just... sitting there, in the dark? Biting her lip, she pulled the door open. The jangle of the bell was loud in the nearly-deserted street. The hunched figure straightened. "Ah. Willow. I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you." Giles stood, a slow, jerky unwinding, and came to meet her, a particularly musty volume tucked in the crook of one elbow. His deeply line face was unutterably weary. Not just tired, but lost. Not that Willow imagined she looked particularly chipper herself; it had been a rough couple of weeks. He crossed to the checkout counter, set the book down, and flicked on the switch for the front lights, flooding the store with brilliance. Well, relative brilliance. Willow caught a glimpse of The Rituals of Osiris on the cover, embossed in eye-twisting curlicues. Giles adjusted his glasses. "I beg your pardon. I was just doing some, er, inventorying. I've been composing my final report to the Council, and frankly, I needed a bit of a breather." He trailed off, and Willow gulped. Final report? She wasn't oblivious; Giles had been chafing at the bit to go back to England for years. Or was it champing at the bit? Whatever, Giles had been doing it. But always before there'd been something – someone – to tie him to Sunnydale a little longer. "No, no, I was wondering if Anya was around? For financial-type questioning and answering. I can come back tomorrow if it's a bad time." Were there any good times? "You - you're not already finished with the report, are you? Are you sure you included all the relevant details? The monks, the Knights, the minions? Whatever was up with Ben? There was an awful lot going on." Giles replaced his glasses. "It's quite comprehensive, I assure you." He busied himself behind the counter, doing something mysterious with receipts. "I'll submit it as soon as we determine how to best... handle the details of Buffy's passing. Once that's done, I'd expect to hear back from Travers very shortly with my new assignment." Apprehension blossomed into panic. Giles couldn't leave. Not now. Everything was changing, falling apart, and she couldn't move fast enough, hold on hard enough, to keep the shards together. I have to fix this, I have to fix this, I have to fix this. "You can't leave," Willow blurted. "I mean, no matter what we do, the Hellmouth is still going to be here, being all hellish and mouthy, and if we're trying to convince the demony types that Buffy's still around – " she unslung her satchel and plunked it down on the counter top, rubbing her aching shoulder. "Shouldn't her Watcher be around too? For verisimilitude?" Giles straightened, sighed, ran a hand over his face. "Willow... we've had this conversation before." "No. No, no, we haven't." She waved her hands in agitation. "Not this one. We had a similar-yet-different, almost but not quite totally unrelated conversation! Last time you wanted to leave because you thought Buffy didn't need you around, and now – " "Buffy is no longer around to need me," Giles finished. "But that's exactly why you have to stay!" Willow pulled a sheaf of printouts from the satchel and fanned them out across the counter – schematics, wiring diagrams, reams of C++. "Buffy's gone. I've got to the get the Bot repaired if we're going to have a hope in heck of fooling Social Services, but that's a walk of the cake variety compared to getting it to fight demons on the regular, and it's – " His expression wasn't softening. Giles had serious leaving-on -a-jet-plane face. Think, think, think – what had snapped him out of it the last time he'd wanted to leave? Buffy, of course. Buffy telling him that she still needed him. But Buffy was gone. (Did it make it better or worse, saying 'gone' instead of 'dead?') Buffy couldn't need him anymore. Except, except... inspiration struck. "Giles, it's not going well. The demon-fighting of the Bot, I mean. I was hoping you could help." "Er." Giles regarded the stack of printouts with an expression of faint alarm. "I'm afraid that my expertise doesn't extend to chipsets. And what do you mean, it's not going well? The robot was quite successful against Glory." "Not that kind of help. And that's because we were basically just using her as a distraction." She leaned across the counter, voice dropping to a confidential whisper, as if the Buffybot were listening in and might get its feelings hurt. "The problem is, the Bot's strong, but she's not very tough. She's actually pretty fragile – all those delicate gears and servos and circuits. She wasn't engineered for heavy-duty demon fighting. She's got all this fighty-kicky programming based on Buffy's combat style, but when she's actually fighting a demon, if it gets its hands... claws... appendages on her, a lot of the time it can just rip her apart. That's fine if we just bring her out once a year to fight some major baddie, but if she's going to be patrolling every night? She can't heal by herself, and we have limited supplies for repairs, and..." she threw up her hands. The glasses were getting a thorough polishing again. "That's unfortunate, but I'm not seeing how I can be of assistance. I'm neither an engineer nor a programmer, Willow." You're not getting away that easily, mister. "You don't have to be! What she needs is a teacher. That's the beauty of it. She's got learning routines. I don't want to think about whatever it was Spike wanted her to learn, but she can incorporate new options into her decision trees. Someone needs to show her a different kind of fighting style, one that minimizes her chances of getting grappled. And there's nobody who can do that better than you can." Giles was wavering, she could see it. Maybe Fake Buffy was better than no Buffy. She stared up at him, beseeching, willing him to say Yes, yes, Willow, I'll stay, I'll help you. Finally, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Very well. I'll make the attempt, at any rate. But as soon as the robot is capable of protecting herself adequately, I really must – " "Oh, Giles, thank you!" Willow flung herself across the counter to give him an impulsive hug, scattering the printouts and knocking the book to the floor. She let him go with a squeak if alarm and dove after them. Giles knelt to help her pick the papers up, and she stuffed everything back into the satchel willy-nilly. "This will work, I'm sure of it! She's almost ready for a trial run – I'll call you as soon as she's ready! Oh! And I'll come back tomorrow morning to talk to Anya." She couldn't exactly say her heart was lighter as she left the store, but at least one piece of her shattered world was glued back into place, however temporarily. Surely Giles would realize after awhile, that staying was the right thing. Willow hurried along the darkening streets towards Buffy's house, where Dawn and Tara would be waiting. Tomorrow... well, maybe tomorrow Anya would have some ideas for what to do about the money, and the legal questions, and... Willow groaned. There was so much still to do, so many things she had to make right – because who else would do it? It was all too much. Even with the Bot... everything would be so much easier if only... If only Buffy wasn't... She shivered, though the late spring evening wasn't cold, not at all. Buffy was gone. Buffy was dead. And there was nothing she could do to make that right. Her eyes stung. She wiped them defiantly, then ran a thumb under the satchel strap. Her heart might be ligher(ish), but the satchel definitely seemed to be heavier. She opened the flap, peered inside. What on earth...oh. Drat. She'd stuffed Giles' spellbook in there by accident. She should return it. But she was almost back to Revello Drive, and she was going back to the Magic Box tomorrow to see Anya anyway... she'd keep it just for tonight. Maybe read a few chapters. She'd been wanting to brush up on her Egyptian rituals anyway. Maybe it would distract her from her problems, if only for a little while. What could it hurt? End comments

[everlarkficexchange]

The Virgin (Social) Suicides

WRITTEN BY: @ally147writes

PROMPT 85: Katniss makes unsettling discovery that everyone in her close and extended group of friends has dated at least once and sometimes even each other. Except for her. The “late bloomer” teasing (b/c she’s never even been kissed) stings. Older boy Gale crosses paths with group, finds he shares common interests with Katniss, they get together to hunt, leads to him casually inviting her out for a real dinner date. Not feeling desire but pressure to “get it over with,” she accepts. Peeta has regrets. [submitted by @567inpanem]

NOTES: I desperately wanted to have this complete, but uni conspired against me. A million thanks to our angel mods, @xerxia31 and @javistg for holding this exchange, and allowing the extra week 😊

This is parts one-and-a-half (ish?) of a (probably?) four-part story. I won’t be posting to AO3 or anywhere else until the rest of it is complete. Parts 2, 3 and 4 are all between 30% and 75% complete already, so hopefully it won’t take me too long to wrap up.

Unbeta’d. All errors are my own.

Rated M for swears and discussions of sex (or lack thereof)

Thom and Lavinia’s engagement party is a sedate affair, which Katniss never would have guessed. Whenever Thom or Lavinia were left in charge of planning anything, it always started with them drowning themselves in cheap beer at Abernathy’s, got a bit muddy somewhere in between, and ended in a trip to the hospital for someone to get their broken wrist or dislocated shoulder set.

And once, to the police station, to face indecent exposure charges.

The doing of their mothers, Katniss supposes. (Probably a smart move, considering the alternatives; no one’s engagement party should end in a holding cell). They’re perched by the string quartet, amongst a cluster of white rose bushes, their oversized, feather-trimmed hats knock against each other’s with every exaggerated, bird-like nod and squawking laugh they release, while their husbands make awkward small-talk by the fence overlooking the golf course.

How they’re out there like that in the sun, in dark suits and all, Katniss has no idea. She dabs a napkin across her damp hairline and peels her sticky skin away from the plastic of the chair. An afternoon in the sprawling gardens of the Snow estate, when it’s pushing a hundred degrees out, isn’t exactly her idea of a good day — if she weren’t part of the bridal party, Katniss would have skipped out hours ago. Add that to the cocktail dress she all but shoved her body into and the hair that’s falling out of her braid and sticking to her glossed lips, she’s about ready to revolt.

But, she concedes, Thom’s parents are loaded up to their eyeballs, and they’ve made sure there’s free — mercifully cold — booze everywhere, so bottom’s up.

The happy couple don’t seem to mind the heat, or the change in pace too much. The groom-to-be dips his laughing bride over his arm and kisses her square on the lips, swaying along to the soft tones of the violin strings, the intimate connection between them somehow the simplest thing in the world. The scene should inspire at least a smile — she’s happy for her friends, right? But it tugs somewhere deep at Katniss instead, unrelenting and unrepentant, leaving behind an odd sort of hollowness, demanding more yet leaving her starving for… something.

“They’re sweet together, aren’t they?” says Madge as she sips her champagne.

Katniss shakes her head, but she can’t stop the nagging in her gut. “Yeah, I guess. It’s a little sickening, actually.”

“You would say that, wouldn’t you?”

“What? They’re hunting for each other’s intestines through their mouths.”

“You are absolutely disgusting.” Madge swipes a celery stick from their shared crudité platter and nibbles at it like a rabbit. “Please stop speaking.”

“I’m still not wrong.”

“I guess it is kind of funny, though,” Madge goes on, chomping through the celery. “You’d never guess he could be so doting. I mean, when I dated Thom, the nicest thing he ever did for me was give me the olives off his pizza.” She sighs and smiles an odd little smile as Katniss’ hand freezes with a cherry tomato halfway to her mouth. “I guess it really does change everything when you meet the right person.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” She drops the tomato, and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor, where someone will slip on it later, probably her. “You dated Thom? As in, Thom, Thom?”

Madge arches a plucked brow. “Well, yeah, a while ago now, not long after we first started college. Well before Lav was in the picture, if that’s what you’re worried about. I thought you knew about it; we were all friends then.”

Katniss frowns and tries to dredge the memory — what would Thom have looked like then? Was this during his mohawk days, or after? “For how long?”

Madge quirks her head to the side, and not a single strand falls out of her intricate up-do. “I don’t know. A few months, maybe? Not a long time.”

Katniss taps her index finger — unadorned with polish, to Prim’s everlasting dismay — against the pristine surface of the timber table. “Is it… weird? Being friends with him now, I mean?”

Madge laughs. “Kat, if it was weird to hang out with someone I’d dated before, I’d have to find a whole new group of friends.”

“Why?” Madge smiles that weird little smile again, and the urge to slap it off is overwhelming. “How many of them have you gone out with?”

“Uh…? Let’s see.” Madge counts them off on her fingers, like there’s a real need to keep track of them. “Thom, Darius, Gloss. Leevy a couple of times, too, but that was over pretty much as soon as it started. Oh, and Peeta once, as well.”

Katniss chokes on a piece of cucumber. Oh, god. “Peeta, too?”

“Yeah. What’s the matter, Katniss?” Madge flashes another grin as Katniss knocks back a hearty sip of her drink. “Jealous?”

“No!” she exclaims. But without even meaning to, she finds Peeta across the courtyard, where he’s entertaining Lavinia’s many nieces and nephews with embarrassing Dad-style magic tricks. The sleeves of his starched, pale blue dress shirt are pushed up around his elbows, and there’s a rogue curl stuck with sweat against his forehead. He meets her eyes and smiles at her, as warm and tangible as a touch. Her cheeks flood with heat and she tears her gaze away. God, it’s like they’re in school all over again.

Madge shoots a grin Katniss can only describe as shit-eating, and it’s all she can do not to throw her remaining champagne in Madge’s face.

“No, of course you’re not,” Madge says, like she’s talking down a screaming child. “That would mean you had a soul or something.”

There’s nothing she can say now that wouldn’t incriminate her further. Katniss turns to the dripping glass of ice water at her elbow and drains it.

“Well…” she says, once she’s certain the nuclear blush on her cheeks is under control. “Why’d you only go out with him once?”

Madge smiles that stupid little smile again. The secret one Katniss has no insight to or context for.

“Peeta’s… very sweet. He’ll make the girl he’s got his eye on extremely happy.”

The words are innocuous, but something in Katniss seizes urgently. “Peeta’s got someone in mind?”

Madge nods and adds solemnly, “Has done for years now.”

“Years?” There’s no good reason why this information should make her want to break something. None at all. “Why won’t he make a move?”

Madge snorts, and the sound is weird coming out of someone so refined. “Honestly?” she says, as she flags down a waiter for another class of champagne. “I’d say he’s terrified. The girl isn’t exactly one who’ll take his declaration with open arms.”

She shouldn’t — she knows she doesn’t want to — but she prods anyway. “You know who she is?”

“She was pretty much the basis of our one and only date. He didn’t think he had a chance, needed someone to wallow with, that sort of thing.” Madge smiles a dreamy sort of smile and tips her eyes closed. “God, we got so drunk.”

“…And?”

“I’m not going to tell you!” Madge nudges her with her bony elbow, but the effect is ruined by the draping, bell-sleeves of Madge’s deep-aubergine dress. “Ask him yourself if you’re that curious.”

Yeah, there’s not a prayer in hell of that happening.

“So,” Katniss says instead. “Have our friends always been so… incestuous?”

Madge rolls her eyes and, for the first time since this awkward line of questioning began, looks vaguely annoyed. “Katniss, what’s the problem? I’m pretty sure Annie and Finnick are the only other completely monogamous people we know. Johanna’s dated pretty much everyone, too. Cato made the rounds too, before he got his shit together with Clove. Darius dated Lavinia, too, when he and Thom were roommates. That’s how she met Thom in the first place.”

“So… yes?”

Madge laughs and sighs at the same time. “It’s people in their mid-twenties being people in their mid-twenties. Honestly, I’m surprised you never noticed before — it’s not like Johanna’s discreet about it or anything — but I guess you’ve always been a bit…”

“A bit what?”

“A bit… I don’t know… pure, I guess?”

“Pure?” She spits the word out like poison and leaves it in the air.

Madge pats her arm. “There’s nothing wrong with pure, Kat. It’s just… we’re twenty-five now, you know? You don’t need to be so embarrassed about anyone else’s love life. Hell, maybe we should get you a nice date of your own, so you’ve got something else to focus on.”

Heat crawls up her chest and settles in her face. Her fancy cocktail dress feels way too small and way too hot.

“Uh…”

“Kat…”

“… Yeah?”

“You have gone on a date before, haven’t you?”

“I… uh… no?”

She’s not sure why it comes out as a question. She sure knows about her complete and total lack of love life; no need to have other people confirming it for her.

Madge’s jaw drops. “You’re kidding.”

“Why would I joke about that?” she retorts. “And we’ve been friends for how long, now? How didn’t you notice?”

“I don’t know! It’s just that…” She scrutinises Katniss like she’s a wayward science experiment. “Really?”

Katniss rolls her eyes. “Yes, Madge. Really.”

“Not even in college? No one? Nothing?”

“Is it so hard to believe?” Katniss snaps. “No, Madge. I have never, not once, ever gone on a date.”

 “Well, you’ve… you’ve at least had sex before, right?”

Heat fills her cheeks until she’s sure she’s about to melt from the pain of it all, though she’s got no idea why it embarrasses her so much. It’s normal, right? Or normal-ish, at least. And it’s not like she planned on it happening. Or not happening. Whatever.

Her virginity isn’t some sacred, precious jewel she’s carting around in a bubble wrap-lined basket. And it’s not something she’s hoarding, just so she can get down on bended knee and present it to The Right Guy when The Right Moment comes along. It’s not a personal choice, a feminist statement or even a religious one. The opportunity to do so just hasn’t… come up, so to speak.

And it’s fine. She guesses. Most of the time, it doesn’t even bother her. She’s had enough going on in her life that it isn’t something she’s missed, or even had time for. And it’s not like she’d be any good at any of it, anyway. The hand-holding. The intimacy. The kisses.

The sex.

The mere idea almost makes her shudder. She’d suck. And not in the sexy way.

It might be nice. Maybe. One day. When she’s good and ready to make it happen.

Until then, though…

“Uh…”

Madge’s bright blue eyes blow wide. “Katniss!” she shrieks.

A hundred people turn and stare at them, Peeta included, not even slightly helping her blush to fade faster.

“For the love of God, Madge, would you keep it down?” Katniss swats at Madge’s arm and hisses down at the table, “No, I’ve never done… anything.”

Madge lowers her voice to a harsh whisper. “Not even kissed?”

Right on cue, Thom kisses Lavinia again, long enough for it to get awkward. Katniss scowls and looks away. “No, Madge,” she mumbles. “Not even kissed. Or held hands. Or hugged or by someone who wasn’t an immediate family member.”

“What about yourself? Do you masturbate?”

“Fucking hell, Madge, really?”

“Okay, sorry. I just…” Madge gives a tight laugh and shakes her head. “I… You cannot be serious right now.”

“What part of this is so hard to believe?”

“I don’t know. I mean, you’re gorgeous, for one. A great person, kind, generous, brave, loyal to a fault. Anyone would be lucky, you know?”

Katniss snorts and drags a carrot stick through a warm bowl of hummus. Why couldn’t they have held the party indoors, like normal people? Yeah, maybe she’d still be getting the third degree, but at least the condiments might be cold. “Yeah, no. I don’t think so.”

“Well,” Madge starts, leaning in so they’re a hairsbreadth apart. “Have you ever… you know, wanted to?”

There’s no right way to answer that question. If she says yes, she’s as doomed as if she answers no. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Are you…” Madge stops, starts, opens and closes her mouth like a fish blowing bubbles. “Have you ever thought that you might be ace or something?” She holds up her hands and all but yells before Katniss can say anything, “Not that there’s… it doesn’t matter if you are or anything like that, I just thought… maybe you’re —”

“— No,” Katniss cuts in, before Madge can hurt herself. “I’ve had… you know, crushes and stuff before, I’ve just never been in a relationship, and I wouldn’t have rejected one if it came along.” She shrugs. “It just never did, and I’m okay with that.”

But, is she? God, and she’s always thought of herself as an enlightened, modern, don’t-need-no-man sort of woman, too.

“Honestly, Kat? You’ve probably been hit on a thousand times, but it never registered in your head that it was even happening to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that… I don’t think you’re aware of the effect you have on people, that’s all.”

Katniss frowns at the wilting crudité platter. “You’re making me sound like a heartless bitch.”

Madge rolls her eyes. “Of course, you’re not a heartless bitch. I’m just saying you should… I don’t know… open your eyes a little, take a second look, you know? Someone might really surprise you one day.”

Again — completely against her will, she swears — she finds Peeta across the courtyard. This time, he doesn’t look up from pulling a coin from a little girl’s ear. “I’ll think about it.”

“You definitely won’t, but I’ll give you a pass for tonight.”

Katniss cringes. “You’re not going to make it your mission to get me laid, are you?”

“This isn’t a shitty eighties movie, Katniss,” Madge says as she pushes her seat away from the table and stands on her ridiculous four-inch heels. “So, no. I’m not going to try and get you laid. Now, let’s go dance or something; it’s a party, for God’s sake.”

XXX

The next time they’re all together, at a reasonable temperature and in normal clothes, Katniss surveys her friends with a strange, acute sense of awareness she didn’t possess before. Annie perched on Finnick’s lap, feeding him pretzels like coins in a slot machine; Cato and Clove with their arms wrapped around each other so tight it looks like it should hurt; Johanna and Bristel with their tongues so far down each other’s throats that they’re probably going to leave and do God knows what before their next round arrives. All of them know a sort of intimacy Katniss can’t even begin to fathom. All of them… except her.

And it’s… weird. Like she’s on the outside of a joke that’s been going on for years.

How are they all still friends? How is it all so… natural for them? Granted, it’s not like she’s got any insight to what’s going on in their brains, but it must be awkward on some level, mustn’t it? How can you share so much of yourself with one person, then pretend like it never happened? And then, how can you do it with four or five or maybe even more of the people you hang out with the most? Katniss can’t wrap her mind around any of it.

Only Peeta, sitting beside her, seems to notice her out-of-body experience.

He nudges her ankle with his foot beneath the table and leans in to whisper, “Are you all right, Katniss?”

She shivers at the warmth and scent of him, of cinnamon and dill and all kinds of other delicious things. He’s never smelled bad in all the time she’s known him. “Yeah. Just, uh… weird day.” She tips back her gin and tonic and almost chokes on it.

He nods, thoughtful, and takes another sip of his own drink, the only one he’ll have for the whole night. “That sucks,” he says, and she can tell he means it, too. He smiles, and another shiver races through her. “Wanna talk about it?”

She shakes her head. “It’s nothing. Just the usual.”

“Another drink, then?”

“I think I’m done for the night, but thanks.”

He shrugs and takes another sip. “No problem.”

“Hey… is it true you dated Madge?” She wants to punch herself in the face as soon as the words leave her mouth.

He almost spits out his drink. “What?” He coughs and thumps his chest with his fist. “She told you about that?”

“She just mentioned it. I had no idea.”

“It was… uh, a while ago.” He drags a hand through his curls and surveys her with something almost like worry. “What else did she tell you?”

“Not much. Just that you guys went out a couple of times —”

“— Once,” Peeta cuts in, a tendon in his jaw twitching. “We went out once. Years ago.”

“All right.” She holds up her hands in surrender. “Sorry for mentioning it.”

“No, Katniss —” He breaks off with a sigh and twirls the last of his beer around in the bottle. “Yeah, Madge and I went out. It wasn’t a big deal. We were both dealing with… I don’t know, shitty personal lives, I guess?”

“Madge said it was to forget a girl.”

Jesus fucking Christ, would someone please, please, cut out her tongue?

“I… uh…” He chugs back the rest of his beer in one feel swoop. Awesome, now he doesn’t have to watch her tear at her hair. “I guess it was kind of like that. I think Madge had just stopped seeing that Blight guy? It was… a while ago, that’s for sure.” He looks at her critically. “Why do you ask?”

She lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug. “I don’t know. Just, she mentioned it and I was… curious, I guess.”

His lips quirk into a hint of a smile. “Curious about what, Katniss?”

Yeah, her brain taunts her. Curious about what, Katniss?

Even if she knew, she’s got no clue how to go about admitting it to Peeta, of all people.

“I don’t know,” she mumbles at her empty glass. “Nothing, I guess.”

Now, the concern is back full-force. “You sure?”

Not really, but she’s not so sure why or what or how anymore. “Yeah. I’m sure. But I think I’ll take that drink now, if you’re still offering.”

He flags down the nearest server and says, “Yeah. I think I might, too.”